Skip to main content

TIFU by trying a new protein bar flavor

So I recently had a trip for work. I'm making sure I eat enough protein these days, for the gainz and whatnot. I like "pure protein" bars and I've been eating them for a while. On my way to the airport, I grab a four pack of pure protein bars. It's a new flavor I haven't tried, lemon cake or something, and it's got 20g protein, 2g sugar, and 200 calories just like other varieties. I usually eat 2 or 3, I was hungry, and they were delicious. I ate 3 before I got on the plane and the fourth in the air. Little did I know, these were not the bars I was used to. I started to feel the digestive unease, and I took a look at the label. There are NINE GRAMS of sugar alcohols per bar. I just consumed 36 grams of malitol syrup.

I probably don't need to tell many of you what the consequences of this were. by the time we landed, my stomach had fully unionized and gone on strike. What followed was not diarrhea so much as a continuous evacuation order of my colon.

I missed work because I spent the entire day sprinting between the hotel bed and the bathroom. At some point I learned that malitol is basically sugar that hates me, and I had eaten four lemon-flavored colon cleanses at altitude.

TL;DR: TIFU by accidentally eating 36 grams of malitol syrup, turning my business trip into a solo endurance event, missing work, and most crucially, shat out all of my gainz.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...