Skip to main content

TIFU I shat my pants at universal studios (violently) (emotional)

I shat my pants at universal studios

Repost because I’m going back soon and needed to get rid of the nerves

I (F19) went on a family vacation a couple of months ago to universal studios. It was was amazing! Great food and rides. Now one of the best options for food for a large family like ours was to go to the 3 broomsticks and a feast from Harry Potter. The food was great potatoes, chicken, ribs and more! I gobbled that shit like no one’s business. I mean I was going IN. Now it’s a couple hours later and the park is about to close. My family and I are walking through the dr. Seuss land and my stomach rumbles. I’m like, ‘it’s fine just a fart all will be well’. Spoiler: all was not well. I duck into a corner so I don’t subject an innocent bystander to the foul smell coming from my body. I let it out. At first I thought that it was just a wet fart. I mean it’s Orlando, it’s about a million degrees and I was already going through swamp ass. I go to walk away and my butt cheeks are WET. I stop and think no way. There is NO WAY I just shit myself. I go to my mom (F42) and she runs from me. I mean she LITERALLY RUNS AWAY. I start borderline yelling in the middle of the road waddling my way to her. At this point I’m nearly crying. Turns out she was running because she had to fart too but that’s a story for another time. I ask her to check my shorts and she says she doesn’t see anything and it must just be sweat. I don’t believe her. I waddle to the bathroom pull down my shorts and there it is. Pale and chunky diarrhea. It smelt like death and I nearly threw up. So I do the only rational thing. Cry. So now I’m sweating, crying and sitting on the toilet leaking liquid death from my ass. An innocent family walks in an smells my mess and immediately walks out. Long story short, my grandma being the hero she is, bought me some new shorts and I cried myself to sleep that night.

TL;DR I ate way too much food and shat my pants in Orlando

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...