Skip to main content

TIFU by ignoring the hole in my bag of instant oatmeal

Content warning for gross food stuff/emetophobia. You have been warned.

So I was rifling through my dry food pantry looking for something to eat, right? I find this box of instant dried oatmeal, the kind that comes in little paper bags and is banana maple flavored or w/e. The bags look a little worse for wear, little greasy, but it's fine. It's dried, it's not like there's anything in there that could spoil, right?

I follow the instructions, open up the bag, pour it into a bowl, and fill up the empty bag with water up to the fill line. Water starts pouring out the side of the bag, through a small hole I did not previously notice. Well, that's inconvenient. I do not take a moment to wonder "why is there a hole in here? and a perfectly circular one at that? how long have these packets been sitting in the back of the cabinet of this 50 year old house?", instead I finish prepping my breakfast and toss it in the microwave. Yippee, yummy oatmeal!

I sit down and eat. It tastes perfectly fine. Textures a little off but I can live with that. I look into the bowl, and an intrusive thought passes through me. "Huh, some of these oats kinda look like tiny worms, isn't that weird." I think nothing of it though, probably just my brain trying to freak itself out. I keep eating. About halfway through the bowl I start to feel ill. My stomach flips. I squish one of the bizarre looking oats. It does not behave in the way an oat should. It's soft and creamy on the inside, and thicker than an oat should be. There was a hole in the bag. These have been sitting in the back of the pantry for god knows how long. Oh my god, I've been eating worms. I throw out the rest of the bowl, as well as any other oatmeal packets in the pantry. I throw up in the sink shortly thereafter.

According to my research, they were probably carpet beetle larvae. Not poisonous or anything, I'm fine, but I think that oatmeal might be ruined for me forevermore.

TL;DR: I ignored all the red flags while preparing sus instant oatmeal and ended up eating beetle larvae.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more