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TIFU by pretending I knew how to cook for a date

I’ve always described myself as someone who “can cook.” What I really mean is I can follow a recipe if I read it carefully and nothing unexpected happens. But when the person I’ve been seeing mentioned they love homemade Italian food, I confidently said, “I’ll cook for you sometime.” I do not cook Italian food.

Instead of picking something safe I decided to go all in. Fresh pasta,. slow simmered sauce. The kind of meal that suggests I own multiple wooden spoons and say things like “let it reduce.” I also got her a gift, some roses from 1800flowers and luckily managed to get them with a discount code. I was hoping that would save me in case the cooking did not turn out well, which it didn’t.

The dough started off sticky, then it became dry, then it became something that could probably survive a minor natural disaster. I kept adding flour like that would fix my emotional state. The sauce splattered everywhere.

She showed up and I was pretending everything was under control. The kitchen looked like a cooking competition where I had already been eliminated but refused to leave the set. The final dish? Technically edible. The pasta had the texture of determination and the sauce was a MESS. To her credit she was incredibly kind about it. We laughed, we ordered pizza as backup. The night ended up being great just not for the reasons I planned.

Second date is somehow still happening. This time I am choosing something that requires minimal kneading and maximum survivability.

TL;DR Thought I could cook for my date, failed miserably. Somehow ended up getting a second date.

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