Skip to main content

TIFU by removing my earring too early

Post a Comment

TIFU by wearing white pants today and I am currently at my desk with a stain I cannot identify

it was 72 and sunny this morning, I'm 42, I made the decision to wear my white linen pants like a man who has it all figured out. somebody in the office said I looked like I was on vacation. somebody from accounting actually whistled. I walked to the park at lunch, sat on a bench for 25 minutes eating a salad and watching a dog try to fight a leaf. my boss called. I stood up, paced around being professional, walked back to the office, and caught my reflection in the lobby window. reader. there is a large dark brown stain across the entire back of my pants. I do not know what it is. it is not the shape of chocolate. it is not the shape of mud. it is not the shape of any specific thing, which is somehow worse, because now my brain has to consider every option, including the ones I have spent my entire adult life not considering. I went to the bathroom, tried to look at it with my back to the mirror, which made me look like I was being arrested. I tried to scrub it. it got bigger. now I look like I attempted a cover up of whatever this is. I cannot smell anything but that's not how smelling yourself works, that's everyone else's job, and they have been on the clock for an hour. I have a Q2 review with three VPs in 22 minutes. the woman in the cubicle next to me just asked if I'm okay and I said "yeah, just tired" while possibly wearing feces. tomorrow these people will still work here. they all saw me leave for lunch white. they will all see me come back tomorrow.

TL;DR: wore white pants today, sat on something at lunch, just discovered a mystery brown stain across my entire ass, have a meeting in 22 minutes, tried to clean it and made it look like a cover up, the entire office has been quietly observing, please advise.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by not disabling an option in Windows that seemingly made my PC stutter for the last 3 years

I bought a pretty good PC in 2019 (2300 € of goodness) but, a few months after I installed it, the PC started to have, at random, small freeze for like a second, every 10 to 50 min for seemingly no reason. I did tons of benchmark, pretty much read every posts about "my PC is stuttering/freezing help meee" on the internet, called the After Sale number from where I bought the PC. Removing and putting the GPU back helped for a few weeks, but then back to square one. Checked the state of my disks, the ventirad, everything ! Restarting the PC made the stuttering stop for like 1 or 2 hours that's it. I had GPU-Z and CPUID monitor on all the time to check if anything happened, and weirdly enough, having those monitoring program open made the stuttering way weaker ! Drove me absolutely crazy. Then one or two weeks ago I saw a post on r/buildapc about Fast Startup option in Windows and how it was a good idea to disable it... So I did. Since then, nothing. No stuttering, no f...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU while being spicy with my Gf

I 26M have a gf 22f. We enjoy sex with each other but wanted to spice it up as she wanted to try something new and I was all for it. She had me order cuffs, a blindfold, and a vibrating plug which I thought would be fun to try. I let her know when they arrived and a few days after they arrived she came over and we got ready. She had me out the cuffs on her and blind fold first before I did anything else, followed by getting the plug ready. I put what I thought was a good amount of lube on it as one does. Well sadly when I slowly put the plug in, it immediately went all the way in as off it was just sucked in followed by a loud “AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHGHHHHH” which my dumbass at first thought “Oh she must really like it!” Until i realized it was from pain. I started panicking for a second then realized she was in pain, blind folded, and handcuffed. When I asked if she wanted me to take them off she said no and just sat there for about another 5 minutes. It didn’t completely ruin our spicey t...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by not getting visual confirmation on the lube he was using

Obligatory not today, but I was talking with my ex (the counterpart in this story) and he said he was surprised I hadn’t written this post yet, and truthfully, he’s right. So I (30 at the time, F) and my boyfriend (29 at the time, M) had been dating for a few months and were honestly having a blast. Maybe too much fun. A lot of late nights out. Both very spontaneous people with a lot of social and sexual energy when together, the latter being an important component of this story. One night we had decided to go to one of our neighborhood spots and have a few drinks before heading back to his place. In our city there’s this local artist that creates these awesome vending machines full of unique shit, some of it’s as simple as a pair of earrings or a bag of tiny ducks, but the fun ones are these mystery packages. I always liked choosing the spirit animal ones cause those contain a tiny toy animal and a card with some relatively snarky description of why your lazy like a shark or whateve...
Post a Comment
Read more