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TIFU by snacking on raw unwashed spinach

it’s not exactly today, i hope that’s not against the rules, but i am certainly reaping what i sow today. TMI warning, its gross.

a few days ago i decided i was going to make some spinach alfredo. so of course i went to the store, and got some spinach. and throughout the day, i was snacking a bit on it… i don’t know why. i love spinach and somehow i had completely neglected the fact that i forgot to wash the spinach, like the only thing you have to do before preparing the spinach.

i put the spinach in the alfredo, had it as usual, and then shat my brains out. i simply thought maybe the alfredo was too rich, it’s understandable. the next morning, yesterday, i wake up about to shit my pants. and i’m like oh great, and my body’s all achy, i must’ve slept on everything wrong.

as the day goes on, i snack on the spinach again. it was a lapse of judgment, i suppose in my morning stupor i thought i had washed the spinach, because who doesn’t wash their spinach, right? well, then i spend yesterday feeling achy and gross and basically hotboxing my bathroom with noxious gas.

this morning i wake up with a low grade fever. my body aches and everything i eat (not that im very hungry) goes right through me and i’m really tired, too. it’s over. i know the end. i’m going to the doctor later before i end up pulling an Elvis. swing low, sweet chariot, please wash your spinach before eating it, especially during an outbreak of a fecal parasite prominent in my area. of course, perhaps it is just a stomach bug, but with my luck i’m just going to get tested

TL;DR: i ate unwashed spinach, and i’m now shitting my brains out. don’t be like me

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