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This happened almost a year ago, but I can't stop thinking about how insensitive I was. Also I'm using gender neutral language for identification purposes.
My mom works for the city as a crossing guard. She was having issues with a child who would cross the street on their bike 1) without waiting for her, 2) without waiting for the road to be clear, and 3) not using the button that flashes the crossing lights. Since I had experience working as a crossing guard and knew the rules of the city better than my mom (I'm the one who recommended her for the job as I had been working there longer), I offered to help her.
My initial thought was, "Maybe it's not the best idea to talk directly to the parents as you never know how the parents could react, especially when telling them 'hey, your kid is being a danger to themselves and others'." I also know from experience that parents don't tend to take crossing guards as seriously as any other authority figure (I had so many parents jaywalk or cross the street without me when it was unsafe to do so). So I walked up to the school resource officer to ask him to talk to the parents. The officer said he was off-duty and that we were on our own until his next shift.
We knew where the kid lived because they weren't too far from the main road and we could see them arriving to their house.
I walked up to their house and asked to speak to their parent. When the parent came out, I very sweetly said, "Just to let you know, your child is crossing the street in an unsafe manner. It's important for your child to heed the instructions of the crossing guard and use the appropriate measures to cross safely, such as getting off their bike and using the lights to signal they're about to cross."
This is where I fucked up.
Instead of stopping there and saying goodbye and leaving, I continued, "You never know what could happen. A car could be driving way too fast and not stop in time, if it's dark out and they're using the crosswalk, a car might not see them..." etc., etc,. I went on for so long, that the parent had to stop me and say "I get it, I'll talk to my kid."
I thanked them for their time, and walked back to my post. It wasn't until I was in my car and leaving, that I realized I was an asshole and insensitive.
For context, I have autism and have trouble reading social cues and knowing when to stop talking, especially if it's a subject I'm passionate about. I don't say this to excuse myself, but rather to explain why I went on for at least a minute. It doesn't sound like a long time, but when you have a person detailing all the horrible ways your child could be injured, it does seem like a long time.
My intentions were to outline the severity of the child's recklessness, but I realize now that my speech would've worked better if I was trying to scare the kid straight. Since I was talking to their parent and the kid was nowhere to be found when the conversation was being had, it ended up scaring the parent.
I haven't stopped thinking about it since, and wish I could apologize to the parent for my insensitivity, but can't as I've moved away.
Also this happened in the US, so jaywalking is illegal and crossing guards are necessary. I can't tell you how many times my mom and I AND THE KIDS have almost gotten run over by reckless drivers. (Which, now that I'm thinking about it, that probably also influenced my wording). To the parent, if you're reading this, I sincerely apologize, I should've worded my warnings more carefully.
TLDR; I scared a parent by telling them all the different ways their child could get run over if they didn't obey the traffic rules.
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