Skip to main content

TIFU by making a divorce joke

Post a Comment

TIFU Commemorating the time I survived the ultimate commuting survival horror game (Stomach flu vs. Philippine public transit) ‎

‎I just want to share an absolutely unforgettable, hardcore commuting experience from back when I was working in Manila. It was a spiritual battle of cosmic proportions. ‎ ‎It started at work. My stomach hurt so bad that I literally had to temporarily stop breathing just to endure the hellish, stinging sensation. Realizing I couldn't function, I tapped out to head home. The plan: take a jeepney to another jeepney station, then head to the bus terminal. ‎ ‎ ‎I realized I ran out of change and only had a ₱1000 bill. I had to wander around the market completely lightheaded, dizzy, and fighting a lethal combo of acid reflux and aggressive diarrhea, begging vendors to break the bill. Because it was early/slow, everyone turned me down. I was so frustrated and desperate. Luckily, a legendary jeepney conductor saw my soul leaving my body and just gave me ₱20—enough for one trip. To that man: you are a literal guardian angel. ‎ ‎I finally made it to the bus terminal and immediately sprinted to the restroom to dispose of the unwanted problem. I was trapped in that stall for 20 minutes, fighting for my life and puking my guts out. By the time I staggered out, I was shivering violently and the dizziness was intensifying. I bought a tetra pack of sterilized milk and some biscuits, but I didn't dare touch the milk. Taking a sip before a 3-to-4-hour rush-hour bus ride felt like playing Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. ‎ ‎The entire bus ride was a level of hell that words cannot fully describe. It was a holy trinity of suffering: Dizziness + Stomach Pain + Butt-Clenching 3000. I was multitasking so hard to keep my composure that I completely lost track of time. I just remember praying to every known god and deity to let me get off that bus without causing a national disaster. ‎Against all odds, I survived the bus. But the universe wasn't done with me. ‎ ‎Next up was a 30-minute local tricycle ride. Take everything I just said about the bus experience, but add a map modifier: terrible, broken roads, and a motorcycle suspension that felt like riding a jackhammer. Every single bump felt like a threat to my dignity. ‎ ‎After getting off the tricycle, I still had a 1km walk to my house. I walked at terminal velocity, pouring 100% of my body's remaining electrical grid and focus straight into my glutes. Funny enough, my headache and dizziness completely vanished during the walk. My brain’s survival instinct basically said, "We will deal with the neurological damage later, right now there is a catastrophic breach in the hull." ‎ ‎I stumbled into my house looking like a drunk man. I didn't even bother removing my dirty shoes or throwing down my bag; I just bolted for the bathroom and almost ripped my jeans off. I wasn't even fully seated when the fuse ran out and the thrusters ignited without delay. Complete, chaotic liftoff. ‎ ‎The second my business was taken care of, the adrenaline wore off. The headache, dizziness, and stomach pain came crashing back all at once. I spent the next hour shivering on the floor, completely soaked in cold sweat.‎I survived, but I left a piece of my soul on the highway that day.

TL;DR: Tried to commute home from Manila while fighting a brutal case of stomach flu and diarrhea. Endured a multi-hour battle of pure willpower across jeepneys, a rush-hour bus, and a bumpy tricycle ride, barely making it to my toilet before total engine failure.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more