Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU by using a toy on my girlfriend while home for Christmas

Obligatory didn't happen today. Last week my girlfriend and I were visiting her family and staying there for the holiday. We were there for 4 days and had gone without any sex (we usually have sex at least once a day). Naturally, we both became horny and decided we would do the deed when the time was right. Christmas Eve her family decides to go to church and we stay back for fear of catching covid and to have sex. 5 min after they leave it starts. My girlfriend is on me like a starved wolf finally getting to eat. I'm all up on her like peanut butter and jelly except our skin is the bread. We are in the living room because her family isn't supposed to be back for at least an hour. Now my girlfriend has a specific kink and she prefers things of the "much larger" variety. When I say much larger I truly mean gigantic. Even though I am well endowed the toys she uses do not compare. One thing she particularly enjoys is when I use these on her. Her favorite toy is a 13 inch horse cock. Yes you read that correctly, 13 inches, and a horse cock. We started having sex and she eventually stops to go grab the toy from her car. I start using the horse cock on her and can tell she's getting really into it, possibly about to cum. I continue thrusting that 13 inches of sweet horse meat until I hear the front door swing open. Her family had come back early because the service was shortened due to covid. We panicked and ran into the guest room where we were staying, unseen by the family. One thing we forgot was the horse member, lying in the middle of the living room floor. Her parents did not notice it for a few minutes until we emerged from the room and they asked what it was. I panicked and said it was a foam roller for my back (with the size of this thing it very well could). They looked confused and asked if I was sure. I once again panicked and said yes watch I'll show you. I then got on the floor and attempted to use my girlfriend's horse cock to roll out my back. I did this for a few minutes in order to really sell it and I don't know if they bought it. I don't think I will be able to look them in the eye for a while.

​

TL;DR Used a horse dildo on my gf, pretended it was a foam roller for my back when her parents found it.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more