TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off.

I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did.

One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise.

The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker.

Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do was finish and walk on the treadmill and they were all taken. I was on the verge of tears so I decided I was going to go home.

I go to the locker room to calm down and put my hoodie on, and when I was on my way out, the treadmills were open, so I figured, whatever let's do it.

I have a favorite treadmill, it's on the end of the row because I don't like being surrounded if I don't have to be. This is important context because I was on the end treadmill and guess who randomly approaches me? MY GYM CRUSH???

He says something to me that I am choosing not to repeat because it was very sweet and I want to keep it for myself.

But I panicked.

Background: I am recently out of an emotionally and mentally abusive relationship. It was isolating and I made it out (yay!) but anyone who has been in that knows how hard it is to adapt back to normalcy. Old instincts and habits are very challenging to override.

When he approached me, I was so happy and nervous and excited, I hid my face and I laughed. I didn't want to laugh. It was so sweet but my brain just malfunctioned. I looked back up and he was already walking away, so all I could muster was a, "thank you!" And I kept walking.

The immediate excitement wore off pretty quickly as I realized he probably thought I was laughing at him. It was too late for me to correct and I was so disappointed in myself that I messed up like that.

I had an appointment to take my car to the shop that following Friday and decided to go to the gym before it. I finished my workout and as I was leaving I was going to say goodbye to one of my gym friends and guess who I bump in to? Quite literally. I don't normally go to the gym Fridays so I was completely unprepared and I had my appointment so my mind was already panicking because of time.

I smiled big because I was excited and tried so hard but my words just wouldn't word. My brain just couldn't brain.

I started by apologizing for laughing, and when I tried to keep going I paused because I lost my train of thought. He picked up the convo, introduced himself and the girl (yes she was there but he did NOT say "my girlfriend" which is not concrete that she's not but also doesn't confirm if she is which didn't help me because in the moment I'm on defense trying not to be flirty because that's potentially his girlfriend.)

He tells me a little about himself and then he said something else that really hit me deep and again, I freeze. I'm stunned that my crush actually picked up on my personality just from observing me. But I'm frozen. I can't think, I can't speak, so all that comes out is another apology for laughing. I literally didn't address anything he said, I didn't even introduce myself!

I couldn't even finish my sentence because he kindly cut me off and said that it was supposed to be funny and he's glad I laughed. All I wanted to say was that I didn't want to laugh but I just couldn't.

I assumed I’d see him again and could explain myself properly. Ask if that woman was his girlfriend. Say literally anything coherent. But I'm sure none of you are surprised - I haven't seen him since.

I’ve been approached at the gym before, but never by someone I was actually interested in, and never by someone who seemed to see me beyond my looks or strength. This felt different. And I can’t stop replaying how awkward and frozen I was.

I’m posting this just to get it off my chest. Laughing when I’m nervous has always been a thing for me, but completely losing the ability to speak isn’t, and it’s been hard to sit with the regret.

TL;DR: I froze and fumbled my gym crush because I was so excited I couldn’t think or speak.