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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by being horny and ended up pulling 5 muscles

So today I fucked up guys. Like badly. I got a little frisky earlier and decided I’d have some me time. I got the bright idea to use an exercise ball to sit on and stick my favorite dildo on the wall and go to town.

In hindsight I picked a horrible spot. It was a hallwayish area with about 5ft of space between the walls. The wall I picked to attach my toy to had nothing in the way but the opposite wall had a drink rack.

So I start going to town when after a few minutes I decided to change positions. I ended up losing my balance and falling backwards off the exercise ball. I tried to stop myself but due to my position (think the bridge yoga pose) it was awkward and I wasn’t able to support my weight. I rolled backwards off the ball and into the rack which resulted in that falling on me too. I immediately noticed an excruciating pain in my triceps, hamstrings, and something in my right armpit area. It hurt so bad I couldn’t move for a solid five minutes. Once I was able to move I dragged my dumb ass upstairs to hopefully sleep it off. I woke up the next morning and could take one step without pain. So I went to my doctor and long story short was told I pulled five muscles and should probably stay away from exercise balls in the near future...

TL;DR got horny, then got hurt. Didn’t cum

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