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TIFU by not turning on the kitchen light when having a midnight snack.

Hi,

So this happened at about 1am this morning and I'm currently dealing with the aftermath.

I habitually wake up about 1 or 2 in the morning and make my way to the kitchen for some sort of snack. I smoke quite heavily (weed) before bed so when this happens I'm normally fairly stoned and half awake.

Bit of background. I'm currently staying with my bubble and the kitchen in this house has no door (just a archway) and a very, very bright ceiling light. Because of the cats liking to mix and match what housemate they're sleeping with, everyone sleeps with their doors half open unless they have 'company' which obviously isn't a thing at the moment. The layout of the house is such that if I turn the light on in the kitchen, it ends up shining into the bedrooms and I hate risking disturbing anyone so I normally just use the light from the streetlamps outside or the internal one in the fridge - I don't actually cook anything on the hob or in the oven so the max I'm doing is chucking something in the microwave or dumping something on a plate cold so it's never been an issue before safety wise.

I think I'll be getting a lamp for the kitchen after last night.

I went downstairs, found some cambonzola cheese in the fridge which is my favourite and cut a bit off. I decided it was a bit too strong just by itself, and this is where I fuck up.

I had bought some corned beef at the same time I'd bought the cheese, but I finished the corned beef a couple days ago. I had been enjoying having both of these things at the same time, and the plate I normally used for this snack was a generic saucer.

This is the same kind of saucer that one of the housemates uses to give the kitties cat treats if they're being a bit difficult about taking the treats from his fingers.

In the very, very dim light (I'd closed the fridge at this stage), I saw a saucer with a smooshy dark coloured sort of pate thing on it. Looked EXACTLY like corned beef in the extreme gloom. My stoned, half awake, ravenous brain goes "oh, I didn't finish it, yay" and picks up the glob on the saucer.

Turns out that when cat treats either get moisture on from sink splash or cat dribble (probably the latter, knowing one of the boys, he's a fountain) it sort of goes into this mulch which also has a very similar texture to corned beef.

I ate three or four treats worth of soggy cat food in one go because by the time my taste buds caught up with my chewing, it was too late.

This was bad enough just experience wise, but within a couple of hours I was beginning to really feel like crap. Tummy going haywire, headache starting, feeling completely wiped. This is when I Google something I never thought I'd need to look up - "is there gluten in cat treats". I found the cat treat brand and YES, there's gluten, and yes, if you haven't guessed by my tone, I have coeliac disease.

I GLUTENED MYSELF WITH CAT FOOD.

Pray for me.

​

TL;DR: I didn't turn the light on when having a stoned middle of the night snack, which ended with me eating soggy cat food and setting off an allergic reaction as apparently some kibble has wheat gluten in it.

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