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TIFU dafür dass ich damals bescheuert war?

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TIFU by staying silent for too long in a relationship

TL;DR NEVER EVER stay silent in a relationship if something is bothering you with your S/O - deal with it ASAP since the longer you keep quiet the worse it will get.

Here's the situation My gf (well, now ex) are both 22. We've always been known as that cute couple from high school, since we've been dating for 3y6m.

I've always been the quite and shy guy, while she's been Bossy and sometimes even rude towards me and our friends. I've usually stayed silent - swallowing it all, not really wanting to argue. I just tried to tell her about that subtly, but it didn't work. I tried telling her directly that her actions and just not nice & rude and disrespectful towards me and others but nope

And two nights ago I was "late" home because I drove my friend to his house since it was pouring like mad (keep mind mind, both of us still live with our parents and are students) That was last straw and I couldn't keep it up anymore. She gave me a hard time for "coming home late" (it was like 11PM) and I ended up being the bad guy AGAIN

And there were a lot of just subte signs y'know - which I just KEPT SILENT OVER AND DIDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT like calling me fat (even tho I have 75kg and 175cm and do cardio A LOT) or being rude to me or being disrespectful a lot towards me and making fun of me and sometimes I even had a feeling she didn't even care about me and used me just to have some boyfriend.

What really made me think that she didn't really care was, I said that if we were to get married, I'd (have) to bring over my cockatiel, since he's suuuper bonded to me. She all got cranky and mad and kept telling me that she ain't cleaning after/from a bird (and he really don't make that much of a mess and I already do all the cleaning)

And when two of your closest friends, your sister and you dad strat telling you that something is wrong and that something needs to change and that her behavior is just not acceptable and that basically everyone stoped talking to her...

AND I KEPT SILENT FOR MONTHS AND IGNORED ALL THAT AND PRETENDED LIKE EVERYTHING IS FINE AND WAS AFRAID OF DOING ANYTHING

Until now.... She was my first girlfriend, ever. I really wanted to marry her, since I loved her with my whole heart and.... But sometimes I just didn't feel loved back - not even respected. This is all fresh for me, and I still have feelings for her - it will take some time I guess for all of it to go away. So please, don't be dumb like me - if you feel and see that something is not right in your relationship, don't ignore it and hide it under the rug.

As for her - she won't read this, she's not on Reddit. I wish her the best of luck in the life and studies.

Thanks for reading....please don't be dumb like me.

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