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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by teaching my dog a trick

Obligatory this happened a little while ago, but I've just now been able to look my apartment manager in the eye again since it happened. TL;DR at the bottom.

I have a very good 5 year old staffy cross. He's smart as a whip and I love dog training, so we work on a lot of (mostly silly) tricks together. We've been working on several body positioning tricks, so I recently taught him "middle", which means he walks behind me and plants himself between my legs. He picked it up quick and I patted myself on the back for my incredible dog training ability.

And this, friends, is where hubris took another victim.

We live in an apartment complex, and the apartment manager LOVES my dog. She always gives him treats so he thinks she's a goddess. As usual, we ran into her on our morning walk and headed into the leasing office for his treats. Then my beautiful dog, loving treats and desperate to please the goddess dispensing them, decided to earn his treat that day by showing off his new trick without prompting and cheerful inserted himself between her legs. He is not a small dog, and her skirt acknowledged that.

So there we were. My dog between a woman's legs staring up at her with adoring eyes, a very confused manager with a Milkbone in her hand and her skirt halfway up her thighs, and an incredibly embarrassed me hoping I'm not going to evicted. Luckily, she's a great sport and laughed her ass off, and I slinked back to my apartment to tell my wife that we need to move and possibly send the dog to a sexual harassment seminar.

TL;DR: my dog pushed up my apartments managers skirt for a Milkbone, I'm never teaching him another trick again, and now I need to move and probably put him on some sort of listing.

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