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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU by not shitting for 4 days

NSFW bc kinda fucking gross

Spoiler bc you'll spoil your appetite for certain

Read on if you dare

This happened under an hour ago

So, for the past few days I've started being an adult and actually making proper meals for myself with HelloFresh. I'd get 3 orders on Friday and cook them on fri-sun. This is where the downhillery begins.

Today, Monday, I woke up for work and it just clicked in my head; I have not had a shit since Thursday. I went to work, tried having a shit during my lunch but just couldn't get much out in under 10 minutes, so I had to leave it until I got home.

Fast forwards to this evening, I was feeling fine, had some nice garlic potatoes with crumbed chicken breasts, along with a second supper which was thai noodles with more chicken (not fat, more like midnight snack).

I was lying in bed around 12:30 when I noticed my appendix started aching like crazy. I remember needing a shit a lil bit earlier but I brushed it off for a job for the morning. 10 mins later I'm sweating and googling away at appendicitis symptoms. The pain wasn't getting worse.

Feeling nervous and drastic, I decided it was time to use/abuse the can. Literally the first shit just disappeared. It was so dense that it just went straight into the sewers. Terminal velocity probably fucked someone's undead goldfish.

I literally shat out about 3 shits in one session. I didn't even have to clean the toilet, it was spotless. My appendix doesn't hurt anymore.

TL;DR

Didn't shit for several days and my stomach probably pushed on my appendix enough to hurt it after I ate 2 meals in one night, causing me to think I have appendicitis, but instead it was about 5kg worth of shit.

Please don't comment saying "oh no!!!!1! go doctr!!?!". I have a job and 0 holiday days, I'm not wasting my sick days to find out I was literally full of shit

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