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TIFU by gaslighting my husband for Christmas

This TIFU happened this week, but I just discovered it now.

So, for context - my husband and I are pretty opposite when it comes to socializing. I’m super extroverted, love family gatherings, I love my in-laws, if it were up to me we’d all live on one giant commune growing our own food and singing kumbaya every night.

He’s very introverted and usually dislikes the holidays and family gatherings in general. He’ll go for me and his parents, but he’s usually super quiet and is pretty bad at faking it. He almost always says he’s not feeling well in order to excuse his quietness and to try to leave early.

At his parents’ Christmas gathering, he was super quiet again. It’s worth noting we all had negative Covid tests. He complained all day he wasn’t feeling well, and actually went to nap in his childhood bedroom for a few hours. His energy was 0%. When we took family photos he could barely even muster a smile, he genuinely looked miserable. It was only us, his parents, and his brother + wife and kids, so his absence was noticed. His parents seemed a little hurt but understood.

It’s fine, I’m used to it, I hung out with my in-laws watching hallmark movies and eating TONS of great food. I had a blast.

When we got home, he asked if I had a good time. I did, but pointed out that he has a tendency to be really avoidant during gatherings. I mentioned that he always conveniently feels under the weather and disappears to his room and leaves me to socialize alone. It’s becoming a trend and he should examine why he suddenly feels so unwell every time we visit his parents. He was pretty upset and said he was trying, but he really did feel exhausted.

Well, this morning I woke up, made some coffee, but could NOT wake up. I felt so tired and I just wanted to go back to bed. I went to go make a second cup, and realized… I had bought decaf coffee by mistake. I didn’t notice because I also get Starbucks when we go out- my husband usually only drinks coffee from home.

Now I have to go apologize to my husband…

TL;DR Bought decaf coffee, blamed my husband for being a Christmas zombie

ETA: So according to Reddit I am a horrible wife, my husband is either severely depressed or has aspergers, and we have a crippling caffeine addiction and need to re-evaluate our lives.

Guys, it’s not that deep. He’s introverted, we joke that I do the talking for the both of us. It works really well for us - I pull him out of his shell when he needs it, and he reels me back into mine when I need it. The holidays are exhausting and we had a humorous misunderstanding. We chuckled about it and moved on - after drinking lots full strength coffee ;)

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