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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU By walking in on my girlfriend feasting on her foot

So today i was at my girlfriends place taking a shower, after getting out, i entered her room and noticed her picking skin off her foot with a small knife and eating it, at this point she hadnt noticed me entering her room just yet. Let me tell you that I was very surprised and quite disturbed. I did notice before that her feet were a bit damaged (so were her toenails) but i never said a thing thinking it would embarrass her. Anyway, as i walked into the room she let out a small shriek and looked at me as if i was a ghost. (i mean seems pretty normal) I looked at her with wide eyes but thought it'd be best if i just joked about it so i asked her if i could also have some toe cheese. I thought i could defuse the situation like that but she didn't say a word for a very awkward minute. I stupidly decided to try my hand at making a second joke and ask her what it tasted like. My second joke didn't exactly land either and she furiously told me to leave her. As you can expect, i am writing this post from the couch.

TLDR: Walked into my girlfriend performing autocanibalism on her foot and made not one but 2 dumb jokes about it and now i have to sleep on the couch.

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