Skip to main content

TIFU I met the man who's wife used me for revenge sex.

So in 2009 I was in collage. There was this awful dance club, literal walking distance from the campus. This place was very much not my thing but my friends wanted me to get out more so there you go,

At some point an slightly older but exceptionally attractive woman came on and started surveying our group. This college was rated one of the top party schools in the country, so this kind of thing is not uncommon. What was uncommon was she zero'ed in on me. I was a theater student and even though I am not bad looking, the other guys where waaaaayy better looking than me.

I must say her flirting game was amazing. Smart and funny without ever being ridiculous. She asked me if she wanted to get out of there? And of course I said yes.

Once in the parking lot her phased started to slip and she came clean. It turns out that by going through her husbands phone she found out that he was cheating on her with a college student that looked just like her 20 years ago. She was 41 when this happened. So she had decided to find and hook up with a guy who looked like him 20 years ago.

She started shaming herself, then I pulled off one of, if not the coolest mofo moments of my life pulled her in close and said "Why stop now?"

Soooo yeah she took me to her house (which was crazy dangerous in retrospect) and in their marital bed. Hmmm how much can I get away with on reddit??? just use your imagination. Because she sure did.

At one point she brings out her phone and starts filming but not just that she is adding real time director commentary. "wow it can actually last longer than 5 minutes, I thought that was against some laws or something." "Wow a total lack of odd smells" you get the point.

She even wanted their picture in the shot (that 8x10 picture is important.

So three days later (yes 3 day) She drove me back to campus and texted him the videos just before we said goodbye.

So I never saw her again, life goes on and that. Until yesterday. I was on a trip for work. I walk into the assigned building and there they were. He was totally my future self.... If I ate nothing but cheese and sadness. I glanced at the name tag. That confirmed it. That was totally him.

He greeted me and said " Thanks for coming my wife handles the contracts for our venders," he called into the office "Honey, do you have that vender paperwork?"

I'm pretty sure my flop sweet shot out of me fast enough to make a sound.

She came out and it was .................. A woman about my age. In a moment I swear I could see the last 13 years of her life. A once spunky co ed had hooked up with an older man who had money. And after the divorce she got the big diamond ring and then totally left herself go. Dear GOD she looked like if 2020 was a person. or if all of 2020 only happened to her.

Anyway. The older sadder version of me asked if I was ok?

I said I was. and thinking fast I told him I had a rapid test 3 days ago (which was true) and I will be ok.

Theeeennnn he looked at me ..... really looked at me.... "What's your name" he asked

I said Byron, and thanked my brain for thinking of a fake name so quickly.

The woman kinda stretched out to hand me the as if I were sick. I said thank you, we will be in touch. Then I got in my work vehicle and got out of there.

So if your wondering. I called my boss and told him everything. And of course he recommended I post here.

To the woman of that long ago night, I hope you are doing well. And until told otherwise I will assume you are on a beach somewhere as beautiful as ever.

TL;DR Not much happened after this. My boss was cool with me not going back there and SO FAR my future self has not shown up.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...