Skip to main content

TIFU When my girlfriend found my old porn stash.

Not today, but about 20 years ago.

I had been dating this girl for a few months. The two of us ended up moving in together before long. I was very happy in the relationship, she seemed to be also. Things went very well for a few years. We talked about marriage, and eventually a couple kids. I genuinely loved this girl. Then one day, out of the blue, she fell completely cold to me. Would look at me with disgust when she could find it within herself to talk to me. I had no idea what was going on. I know she had some mental health issues in the past, but her depression wasn't that bad anymore. Not near as bad as it very recently had become. She had bad days, but nothing like this. After a couple weeks of getting the cold shoulder every time we saw each other, she informed me she was moving out. She ended up shacking up with her best friend who was "like a brother" to her. I was devastated. It took me a long time to get over what had happened. I had no idea what went wrong other than her continually telling me "You're not the person I thought you were."

Fast forward a couple years. I bump into my Ex while out at the park enjoying the sun one day. My heart had healed, and I was quite happy to see her. She was a bit taken back by me being there, but things were quite cordial. We chatted briefly before curiosity got the worst of me. I had to find out what went wrong between us. What did I do that was so bad, she could just walk away? She again informed me "You're not the person I thought you were, and you're lucky I didn't call the police on you." ?!? WTF? I was so confused. I told her I needed her to elaborate.

She informed me she was snooping through an old box of stuff I had in the back of a closet. I knew what box she was talking about, as I only had the one box of things I hadn't unpacked after moving in with her. It was full of old VHS tapes, and some cassettes and CD's. Old pictures and whatnot. I didn't think too much about it, but recalled a couple old porn videos I had from before I had met her. I asked her if it was the porn video's she found, and she confirmed. She couldn't believe I was into underage boys? Again, I was ?!? WTF are you talking about. She mentioned the title of one of the porno's I had was "Where the boys aren't 12" I was so confused. This girl I had one loved thought I was into kiddy porn? I was so shocked with disbelief, I felt like I was going to vomit. It took me a moment to regain my composure. I was heartbroken all over again. I had no Idea what she was talking about. That's when it occurred to me what might of happened.

When I got home that day, I had to look through the old box I had (Yes, I hadn't gotten arid of it a couple years later.) I found the old porn tapes she had found. They were all lesbian porn. Sure enough, one of them was labeled "Where the boys aren't 12"

I stared in disbelief. If only the production company of the porn had thought to put "Volume 12" on the label or "Part 12". Nope. They labelled it "Where the boy's aren't 12" not "Where the boys aren't." "Volume 12". It was the 12th part of a series.

She had assumed it was kiddy porn, and I can't really blame her. I wouldn't have put the tape in the VCR to see what was on it if I were her either.

I honestly had a bit of a meltdown that day. My heart fell into my gut again. That was the worst fuck up I've ever had.

That was the day I threw out all my porn.

I eventually got a chance to inform her what had happened through one of her friends and was able to clear the air, but even 20 years later, this is still a hard pill to swallow. I am so grateful she didn't call the police that day. Thing's might have somehow turned out worse for me.

I like to tell this story at gatherings with friends now though. Even though its at my expense, it's great for a few laughs.

TL;DR Girlfriend of 3 years dumps me after finding what she thought was kiddy porn. She misinterpreted the label. Left me for her friend. Breaks my heart and will to live. I got over it, and was able to have a good laugh eventually.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more