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TIFU by getting interviewed by the neighbour I've been lying to

This has been going on for a while, mostly benign but it came to a head this afternoon and I can't help but laugh.

For context, I am not deaf but my brother and uncle are, so I have learned ASL in order to speak with them, names changed, yada yada.

Okay now for the story, back in 2019 my wife and I moved to a neighbourhood in the suburbs of [local city] as I'd just gotten a pretty substantial job offering with a tech company the year prior and had been able to get a place for us. The place we moved into had a shared backyard with neighbours on either side, these weren't big yards either but it was nice to not have fences to box you into your tiny yard when you sat outside; this worked out better than we expected as one neighbour, we'll call him Frank, was retired and enjoyed tending to the shared yard and could often be found outside tending to weeds or mowing the lawn for everyone.

I'd help in kind with things as I could, and generally we got along great; until Frank died during the pandemic.

By this point I'd started working from home and stopped seeing anybody other than the wife and occasional family, and Frank; and honestly I'd really grown to like not interacting with many people.

So after Frank's kids sold off his home I really had no reason to engage with the new neighbour; but I did have to tend to my own lawn...and I really didn't.

I'd heard through the grapevine that the new neighbour was kindof a dick, and often tried to get people to do things 'his way' so I made an effort to avoid him, I ignored his knocking at my door and dodging his walks; it took a few months but eventually the new neighbour, we'll call him Dave, caught me outside and flagged me down to come tell me I needed to deal with my lawn. I stood there like a deer in the headlights because I couldn't believe the audacity of this guy even though I knew he was going to ask; but I'd obviously taken too long to respond to him because he said, rather abruptly

"Are you deaf or something?"

And for whatever fucking reason I just rolled with it and started to sign at him and said in the same way my brother would

"I'm deaf"

Dave was not too pleased about that and proceeded to over articulate/shout at me

"MOW YOUR LAWN"

Which I feigned understanding and deaf-moaned an 'I will' at him, and so he was off my back.

This continued on for a ton of things, and Dave, while a dick, made an actual effort to learn some ASL to communicate his will upon me; things like needing to bring the cans in faster after garbage day, or let me know he was having painters come around and 'if I wanted to get my house done as well'.

When I did it the first time I figured it would be a one-off joke we could laugh about later, but it honestly got him off my back to have him feel like he had to learn a new language to tell me things he wanted, and when he did want to tell me to do shit it was always an effort that I could respect and appreciate; but it just went on for so long that I couldn't stop it anymore.

Both my wife and brother thought it was hilarious, and since my wife is an nurse she always would tell him when he asked for stuff to 'Go ask Phototok, he's always home' she never actually deal with him.

So skip forward another year and a bit and I'm looking for new work, my old work is trying to bring everyone back to the office and I've grown quite fond of the WFH lifestyle.

So I start applying, and getting interviews, and generally just checking things out with a few places to see what will work for me; and then I get a smokin opportunity.

30% bump in pay, huge benefits, lots of vacation, the works; I was ECSTATIC because with all that it was STILL WFH. I jumped through the preliminary hoops and got past my initial interview to book my 2nd, in person interview, just inside the city at their local office.

I get dressed up for the first time in literally years to look nice and head in for the interview, and as I get called into the board room I am met with Dave's face, looking oh so puzzled at me; my heart is pounding and I can feel my face flush as he cautiously asks me to sit across from him, which I of course, do.

He asks me a series of questions related to the job, expectations, etc. and for a while there I don't know if he knows but he knew I didn't know he knew and at the end of the interview he let me know they'd be in touch and as I was leaving, palms sweaty, he says to me

"Let me know if you need to borrow my mower, your lawn is getting untidy again"

So I knew for sure he knew and I don't think I'm getting the job.

​

TL;DR
New neighbour is a dick, pretend I am deaf so I don't have to interact with him, go looking for new job and find out he's the interviewer for the position, he very tactfully calls me the fuck out.

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