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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by getting too drunk before meeting my crush.

This actually happened yesterday, but I'm still in the process of piecing together what happened.

So I've been talking to my crush over text for 2 months now. We couldn't meet irl for a couple reasons but we set yesterday as the date to meet up. My parents weren't home, so she couldn't come over on her own, as her mum wouldn't let her. So I organised a house party so she could come. (I geuss they thought we wouldn't get up to anything if there were people in the house). This was the first time I'd seen her in 2 months, and hopefully if things went right the first time we had sex. I assumed sex was on the table, because one particular night, we were sexting away and we got so riled up, that she wanted me to sneak into her house and do the dirty that night. But unfortunately I can't drive, and it was like a 2 hour bike ride to her house and it was already 3 in the morning, so it didn't really happen.

So yesterday I got very nervous, and before she had even showed up I was 4 beers down. I also don't really eat breakfast, and was super nervous and slightly sick from the night before because I was at a music festival. All this lead to my alcohol tolerance being very low. I knew this, but my nerves got the best of me and I kept drinking. Then after a couple shots, I finally mustered up the courage to ask her to come to my room with me. Which she did. We ended up talking for a while, and then kissing, and then eventually I start taking her clothes off. This is where fuck up number 1 happens. I completely forget to take my own clothes off. I don't know why, but I forgot. I was already pretty out of it at this point. Then fuck up number 2, instead of asking her for consent with a yes or no question, I asked her to just let me know if she's uncomfortable and ill stop. Obviously I respect her, and want her to be comfortable, and I'm really dumb, I later found out that this is a bad way to ask for consent and puts women in pressure to say yes. I then start eating her out, to which she stops me. She just taps on my head and gives me a look, and I Obviously stop.

After this we kinda just cuddle for a bit. It would've been awkward and not great if it ended here, but not a complete fuck up. But no I'm too dumb for that. The third fuck up happens when I decide to restart. We start going at it again, and me being dumb, I forget to take off my clothes again. To be fair, in the moment I was just focusing on her, and I kinda forgot I existed. I take off her shirt, and what not. And I'm kissing away, and I feel a massive urge to puke. I immediately recoil back, shout I'm gonna puke, run out the door, like a fucking idiot leave the door wide open, with her sitting there with no shirt on, and I run into the bathroom. Only to slip on the bathmat, hit my head on the bathtub, and puke on the floor.

Yeah she heard all that. Luckily no one was outside, so even though me leaving the door open was terrible, it didn't lead to anything. But when I got back she was fully clothed and did not have a happy look on her face. So I told her we should go join the others downstairs. Rest of the night was not fun, I did indeed drink more, and then puke more, and she did not look very happy. And fuck up number 4, I asked her if she wanted to go back upstairs, she looked me dead in the eye and said "why?". Yeah, I barely talked to her after that. I really liked her, but I think that why just killed any chance I had. She did send me one snap today, but that was it. I think she's just gonna keeping snapping once a day and then eventually stop, since she's a nice person and not the type to just ghost someone.

To make matters worse, I was talking to my best friend. She was pretty sober, and barely drank, and my best friend was saying that she probably stayed sober to have sex with me. And that the reason she didn't want to have sex with me was because I was so drunk. Then the puking and shit after just killed any chance of a second shot. This hurt especially bad because before we went upstairs, I asked her if she wanted to do shots and she literally told me that I should slow down.

He also said that I was a complete asshole, and if she told her big brother any of this, that I will be in for a beating of my lifetime. And that I'd have deserved it, and would've just had to take it.

TL;DR - I got drunk, made my crush uncomfortable while trying to have sex with her. Then ran out the room to puke, leaving the door wide open with her naked in it, only to fall and puke on the floor. Then asker her if she wanted to do it again, to which she replied "why".

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