Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

Tifu by sharing the devils lettuce

Today I fudged up by sharing my devils lettuce

This legit just happened, I (27F) had a stressful 12 hour work day so with a day like today I was just ready to get home and light up.

It just so happens that my wife (we will call her Penny) had the day off and had plans to go to the beach with her cousin(we will refer to her as Gigi) and Gigi’s fiancée (we will call him Matt.) They were definitely having a good time and had a pretty good buzz going on, I call Penny to let her know I got some dank and was excited to get home and try it, to which she responds “oh, Gigi wants to smoke she’s never done it in America before!” (Penny and her family are from South America)

I get home, pack the water pipe, blissfully unaware of the chaos that would abrupt not even 20 minutes later. I hand it over to Gigi who, with the assistance of Penny takes a big rip, followed by Penny and myself. Important to note that Matt did not take a rip this round. Then, I repack it and we do another round, this time Matt partakes in the festivities.

Well folks, they don’t smoke, like ever and they claimed that the devils lettuce in their country isn’t as potent as what they had just experienced. Now, keep in mind that before they had smoked they had been at the beach for 5-6 hours (it’s like 95 degrees here) drinking, and barely eating anything they’re gonna get messed up.

Next thing I know, I hear Gigi making that gagging sound you make before you throw up and I think to myself “oh shit” but like y’all.. it doesn’t stop coming out… it’s all over my living room floor and my rug it’s like the freakin exorcist scene except in my living room. Once she’s finished, she’s immediately knocked out. Like, Penny and myself picked Gigi up and laid her on the couch, this girl didn’t even flinch she was knocked the eff out.

Penny and myself look at the mess on the floor, and penny immediately gets to work on cleaning and sanitizing everything. I decided I needed a break and volunteered myself to go take out the trash. I live in an apartment complex so, I had to walk the trash to the dumpster I took this opportunity to process what the heck just happened. Upon arriving back home, Penny is crying, Matt has a blank stare in his eyes and is kicking our living room table and Gigi is yelling/slurring at Penny in Spanish.

I ask Penny what happened and she states Gigi and Matt think we drugged them (lol wut) and that it’s laced with something. That Penny is selfish for letting them smoke (they wanted to on their own accord) and how Penny had shared a private part of her life (smoking is very frowned upon, particularly in their family) and now they are judging her and hate her and she’s a terrible human being.

Currently, Gigi and Matt are passed out on our living room couch, it’s a sectional couch so they are snuggled on one end and Penny is laying on the chaise end of couch, snuggled up in her homemade blanket watching TV.

TLDR; I get new smoke; I share new smoke; I get thanked in the form of vomit; my wife started crying bc her cousin accused us of drugging them and I could really care less that this all happened because you know why?

I’m gonna go smoke.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more