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Tifu by sharing the devils lettuce

Today I fudged up by sharing my devils lettuce

This legit just happened, I (27F) had a stressful 12 hour work day so with a day like today I was just ready to get home and light up.

It just so happens that my wife (we will call her Penny) had the day off and had plans to go to the beach with her cousin(we will refer to her as Gigi) and Gigi’s fiancée (we will call him Matt.) They were definitely having a good time and had a pretty good buzz going on, I call Penny to let her know I got some dank and was excited to get home and try it, to which she responds “oh, Gigi wants to smoke she’s never done it in America before!” (Penny and her family are from South America)

I get home, pack the water pipe, blissfully unaware of the chaos that would abrupt not even 20 minutes later. I hand it over to Gigi who, with the assistance of Penny takes a big rip, followed by Penny and myself. Important to note that Matt did not take a rip this round. Then, I repack it and we do another round, this time Matt partakes in the festivities.

Well folks, they don’t smoke, like ever and they claimed that the devils lettuce in their country isn’t as potent as what they had just experienced. Now, keep in mind that before they had smoked they had been at the beach for 5-6 hours (it’s like 95 degrees here) drinking, and barely eating anything they’re gonna get messed up.

Next thing I know, I hear Gigi making that gagging sound you make before you throw up and I think to myself “oh shit” but like y’all.. it doesn’t stop coming out… it’s all over my living room floor and my rug it’s like the freakin exorcist scene except in my living room. Once she’s finished, she’s immediately knocked out. Like, Penny and myself picked Gigi up and laid her on the couch, this girl didn’t even flinch she was knocked the eff out.

Penny and myself look at the mess on the floor, and penny immediately gets to work on cleaning and sanitizing everything. I decided I needed a break and volunteered myself to go take out the trash. I live in an apartment complex so, I had to walk the trash to the dumpster I took this opportunity to process what the heck just happened. Upon arriving back home, Penny is crying, Matt has a blank stare in his eyes and is kicking our living room table and Gigi is yelling/slurring at Penny in Spanish.

I ask Penny what happened and she states Gigi and Matt think we drugged them (lol wut) and that it’s laced with something. That Penny is selfish for letting them smoke (they wanted to on their own accord) and how Penny had shared a private part of her life (smoking is very frowned upon, particularly in their family) and now they are judging her and hate her and she’s a terrible human being.

Currently, Gigi and Matt are passed out on our living room couch, it’s a sectional couch so they are snuggled on one end and Penny is laying on the chaise end of couch, snuggled up in her homemade blanket watching TV.

TLDR; I get new smoke; I share new smoke; I get thanked in the form of vomit; my wife started crying bc her cousin accused us of drugging them and I could really care less that this all happened because you know why?

I’m gonna go smoke.

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