Skip to main content

TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

TIFU by answering my wife's call on loudspeaker

Obligatory "this wasn't today" start. It was actually a fee weeks ago now.

I am a father to 3 kids and a husband to 1 wife. Me and my wife have a young daughter of 3 and I have two boys of 13 and 11 from a previous relationship.

Me and my wife have been together for 9 years now and our "bedroom relationship" is as strong as the first day we started dating so I'm quite lucky in that respect i think. We often like to dirty talk in the bedroom and are quite adventurous but we don't talk about sex or anything like that when the kids are around for obvious reasons.

Anyway, one night I had picked up the boys from DnD that they participate in once a week. Me and my wife had been discussing a redecoration we'd be doing that weekend and she said she would investigate some stuff and call me later if she finds anything while im out and to discuss what we'd eat that night.

So my phone rings while I'm driving all three kids home and because we have a new model of car that has CarPlay I can just answer the phone over the speakers.

I don't think my wife realised I was driving back as she started discussing food for the evening and then asked what i wanted to do tonight. I said hmm not sure what do you fancy and before I knew what was happening she blurted out "I want you to fuckin rail me once the kids are in bed".

Guys I must have gone white as a fuckin sheet and I've never hung up a phonecall faster in my life. She didn't call me back so I knew she'd realised what had happened. All I heard from behind me were the exaggerated screams of my two mortified sons as they tried to process what they just heard.

I got home from a largely tense car ride and gave my wife the look of shame that she immediately returned to me and my boys rushed upstairs without a word.

We had to have a very awkward conversation with them after that and needless to say I did "absolutely fucking rail" her that evening or any evening until they returned to their mother's house.

TL;DR My wife spoke about her sexual desires on the phone and didn't realise she was on speaker in a car full of kids

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...