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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by answering my wife's call on loudspeaker

Obligatory "this wasn't today" start. It was actually a fee weeks ago now.

I am a father to 3 kids and a husband to 1 wife. Me and my wife have a young daughter of 3 and I have two boys of 13 and 11 from a previous relationship.

Me and my wife have been together for 9 years now and our "bedroom relationship" is as strong as the first day we started dating so I'm quite lucky in that respect i think. We often like to dirty talk in the bedroom and are quite adventurous but we don't talk about sex or anything like that when the kids are around for obvious reasons.

Anyway, one night I had picked up the boys from DnD that they participate in once a week. Me and my wife had been discussing a redecoration we'd be doing that weekend and she said she would investigate some stuff and call me later if she finds anything while im out and to discuss what we'd eat that night.

So my phone rings while I'm driving all three kids home and because we have a new model of car that has CarPlay I can just answer the phone over the speakers.

I don't think my wife realised I was driving back as she started discussing food for the evening and then asked what i wanted to do tonight. I said hmm not sure what do you fancy and before I knew what was happening she blurted out "I want you to fuckin rail me once the kids are in bed".

Guys I must have gone white as a fuckin sheet and I've never hung up a phonecall faster in my life. She didn't call me back so I knew she'd realised what had happened. All I heard from behind me were the exaggerated screams of my two mortified sons as they tried to process what they just heard.

I got home from a largely tense car ride and gave my wife the look of shame that she immediately returned to me and my boys rushed upstairs without a word.

We had to have a very awkward conversation with them after that and needless to say I did "absolutely fucking rail" her that evening or any evening until they returned to their mother's house.

TL;DR My wife spoke about her sexual desires on the phone and didn't realise she was on speaker in a car full of kids

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