Skip to main content

TIFU dafür dass ich damals bescheuert war?

Post a Comment

TIFU by masturbating too long in the shower

So I (19m) live in an apartment off college campus with 3 other guys. Everyone else was at class, and I decided to pop in a microwave lunch before hopping in the shower. Now living with 3 other guys and sharing a room with 1, there's uh not a lot of privacy. I wasn't planning on anything, but got in the shower, morning adderall kicked in (for my ADHD I swear) realized I was naked and it had been a bit, and went "eh might as well".

I popped in my water resistant earphones for a more err "immersive" experience and in case the roomies came back unexpectedly. I may have gotten a bit too into it. It was an um intense video. So what was supposed to be a quick shower turned into a 40 minute aggressive ham fisted session of earth shattering self pleasuring. I walked out a bit woozy.

You can imagine my surprise to get out of the shower to find it surprisingly steamy, but an awful smokey smell I hadn't noticed before. I walked out of the bathroom to the kitchen to find my kitchen literally engulfed in these giant ass fucking flames and the smoke alarm going nuts.

It turns out instead of hitting the microwave for 4 minutes I added a 0 and set it for 40. And set my entire apartment on fire. Immediately ran out and called 911, but they were already on their way. A neighbor had called after smelling smoke. The firemen came down. My whole apartment complex had to be evacuated. Lost most of our kitchen and our living room, and everything in doors with severe smoke damage. I wound up in the hospital for a few days due to smoke. My roommates are pissed. Could've died, but ngl now I get why people like being oxygen deprived during sex.

TL;DR masturbated in the shower for too long, wound up setting my apartment on fire

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by making a joke that landed horribly

I was talking to someone and thought I was being funny, but the second the words left my mouth I knew I had messed up. It was one of those jokes that sounds fine in your head and then just dies completely in real life. Nobody laughed, the mood got awkward instantly, and I could feel my face getting hot because I knew I had just made everything weird for no reason. What made it worse is that I tried to recover from it instead of just shutting up. So then I started talking more, which only made it more obvious that I was panicking. You know that feeling when you can hear yourself getting worse while it’s happening and you still can’t stop? yeah, that was me. I kept trying to act normal, but the whole thing was already gone. After that I just wanted to disappear and pretend it never happened. I’m still thinking about it way more than I should, which somehow makes it even more embarrassing. I really should have just kept my mouth shut for once. TL;DR: I tried to be funny and the joke...
Post a Comment
Read more