Skip to main content

TIFU by getting caught by my Mom using a dildo for the first time...on Christmas Eve

So I'm a guy and I've been struggling with my sexuality, wondering if I'm bi or gay. I've never done anything with another guy and have always heavily repressed any thoughts, pushed them out of my head. I got to the point almost two weeks ago where I thought "Fuck it, I need to start experimenting to at least know who I am, I don't want to be an old man and not know." So I order a dildo and a couple things online.

Now, I live in an apartment with my Mom and this is the first Christmas we're spending without my Dad, who passed away from cancer in the last year. Mom decides that spending Christmas at home with just me like we always did as a family would remind her too much of Dad, because it would just be all the things we normally do...without him. So instead she arranges to go spend Christmas with some friends a few cities over. She offers for me to come too but I say no because I don't know them well and honestly, in the back of my mind I thought, "This is my chance to really have a weekend to myself, and that's the perfect time to try this dildo".

Today we exchange presents early and my Mom leaves and I prep like I'm expecting the Santa of sex to show up, even though I'm alone. I take a long hot bath, I groom myself, I put on the nice bed sheets. In a way, this is all partly a way to have me forget about my Dad too, do something so wild that I just don't think about Christmas.

Here come the fuck ups. One, I shut off my phone because I wanted no distractions. Two, because I assumed my Mom would be gone til Tuesday, I didn't lock my bedroom door. Three, I put on gay porn on noise-canceling headphones.

Oh and fourth, I didn't check any weather reports, because if I did I would've known about massive snow storms, more severe than both me and my Mom were expecting. I would've known that the highway my Mom was going to be traveling on ended up getting temporarily shut down, and I would've had my phone on to either check with her or receive calls from her that she was coming home.

But I didn't. I didn't hear those calls, I didn't lock those doors. You know what's happening and the timing couldn't be worse, because of ALL THE TIMES during this day she could've come home, she had to come home when I was using the dildo for the first time. When I was having a formative sexual experience that may have changed the way I viewed my sexuality. She could've come 40 minutes earlier and caught me masturbating, she could've come 60 minutes later and caught me, I don't know, eating a sandwich or something.

Instead, my Mom saw me on my bed, on my hands and knees, in front of a laptop playing gay porn, my ass facing my door, pushing a dildo in and out of my ass. She immediately closed the door and just shouted "WHY WASN'T YOUR PHONE ON" in a tone that immediately let me know she was angry at me, and God, and the concept of snow, for putting her in a position to see her son stuffed with seven inches of fake dong.

Oh, and she was holding two bags full of delicious food she had brought back as a surprise since she was going to have to stay home for the holidays with me.

We had a very brief, very awkward conversation but I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it right now and honestly neither do I. We've both hidden in our rooms, the food has gone uneaten.

I am such a fucking idiot. If I had taken just one of three or four precautions, just one of them, I wouldn't be in this situation. Now, this kind of huge moment in my life, is always going to be tied to the most embarrassing memory of my life and meanwhile I've ruined the first Christmas my Mom has had without her husband. Because I was horny. Merry Christmas

TL;DR My Mom caught me on Christmas Eve, the first one since my Dad died, having my first gay experience fucking myself with a dildo because I wasn't smart enough to do even one of four simple things that would've prevented her from catching me

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more