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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by making a bad joke about my sexlife

Me and my partner were hanging out with a friend and their partner, the friends brother, and some kids.

The adults were playing games and the kids were sleeping.

The friends partner told a story about the in-laws (so my friends parents, who are SUPER fundamentalist Christian) about how they make these really dirty innuendos, but have no idea (like the husband sprayed the wife with the kitchen faucet hose, and she said “you always make me so wet”) and one such comment sounded BDSM-ish, and out of it, friend and partner now have a running inside joke of “is that your safe word? You gotta have a safe word if you’re going to do -thing-.”

In response to that, I said “yeah, we don’t really have a safe word… I’m usually not able to talk. So I just tap their shoulder. One for harder, two taps to say STOP. It works pretty well, except that one time I only got one tap in before passing out…”

Everyone laughed, which was the goal. Everyone except my partner, who was embarrassed and upset.

In my defense, my partner also makes jokes in a similar vein with these friends, this FU was really making a joke about something that hit a little close to home for them.

I’ve never passed out, but one time we did go a little too hard too fast and I ended up coughing for a minute before we could start back up again, and my voice was hoarse the next day. No permanent damage and I didn’t make much mind about it. But it affected my partner more than I realized.

TL;DR shared a fictionalized version of events with friends, to find out my partner was still upset about the events in question.

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