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TIFU dafür dass ich damals bescheuert war?

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TIFU I fucked up by finding out my homophobic dad watches gay porn

So here’s the backstory. My dad and mom got divorced during the pandemic for a variety of reasons. He wasn’t a great father to me growing up beyond basically meeting his financial obligations. He was outwardly misogynistic to both my mom and I on a variety of occasions and told both my mom and I that if we got our hair cut short he would respect us less. Well when my mom cut her hair I guess that was the final straw for him. Even though that was the only thing she’s ever done to “wrong” him.

Anyhow, it’s been about 2 1/2 years since then. I keep my hair extremely short (mostly to spite him tbh). He always comments on my hair when I see him and makes sure to tell me my boyfriend would prefer it long. I was homeless for a few months a year ago and the only people who helped me through it were my mom and boyfriend. I didn’t want to ask him for money but my boyfriend and mom had bills to pay and I had no where else to turn. I asked him for like $100 and he basically told me I needed to be more responsible with money and I got myself into this mess. For reference my dad makes around $200-300 k a year, my mom makes $60 k and my boyfriend makes around $25 k.

So Christmas this year is where my TIFU happened. Or the 26th to be exact. I went to see my dad with my brother with all the normal stuff you’d expect for a family gathering. You know except my dad constantly comparing us and telling my brother how proud of him he is for going into a lucrative career, while asking me what I’m going to do with me life.

Oh forgot this is also relevant. My dad has always been vaguely homophobic. Like saying he’s okay with other people being gay but he feels like it’s unnatural/kinda gross. He’s always had a strong aversion to specifically gay men but doesn’t really give a shit about lesbians (I’m pan and somehow he doesn’t care). I’ve always thought it was weird but wrote it off as how he was raised. My (bi) boyfriend has actually said on multiple occasions he’s convinced my dad is closeted but I haven’t put much thought into it.

So, basically after we finished with dinner, presents and watching a movie we all went to sleep (my dad and brother fell asleep earlier than me). I decided at around 3 am I was gonna go outside for a smoke but saw my dad’s half open computer and my curiosity was strong. He had a chrome tab with Reddit open along with a few other tabs. He was seeking M4M encounters in my city and the other tabs were very obviously gay porn. I immediately walked outside, smoked and tried to go to sleep pretending I never saw anything.

Should I talk to my dad? How do I proceed from here. TIA

TLDR: TIFU by finding gay porn on my vaguely homophobic dad’s computer

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