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TIFU dafür dass ich damals bescheuert war?

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TIFU by pushing a man to his near death at a train station in Paris

TW: extreme anxiety

So it happened a week ago and I’m still as shocked.

I landed in Paris with my gf at the airport CDG and took a train to the city. As I was carrying our luggage, my attention was mostly focused on the bags and missed one or two things taking place around us. We arrived at the station “Gare du Nord” and were to change trains. So as we were standing at the platform waiting for our train to come, I felt a very heavy weight pushing my gf from behind, as we were standing “glued” to each other. I saw a man pushing us so my first reaction was to push him back and restore some space. Guys please believe me, I didn’t use any amount of force enough to move an adult human 1mm from the spot, little you know the guy went FLYING, his fall felt so long until he “landed” IN THE TRACKS! I swiftly jumped after him, grabbed him literally like a potato sack and threw him over back to the platform and jumped back over, as the train just arrived, which would have taken me had I been 1 second slower.

I ran to the guy and that’s when I realized he was extremely drunk and didn’t even notice what had just happened. Mind you, this all happened in a fraction of roughly 30 seconds, nobody came to our aid, my gf froze and could only scream. My blood was boiling!

The more time passed, the harder the scene hit me, because, if that shit had happened just a few seconds later, I’d had killed an innocent person and would be the deepest shit I’ve ever been in my life, I would have been arrested for murder and wouldn’t stand a chance against the accusations, there were cameras everywhere. I couldn’t sleep for 3 days straight and got traumatized, still got PTSD. I’d rather die than kill an innocent person, that’s one of my biggest fears.

I really hope that man could make it back to his family alive and live a thousand years happy with his family. I never intended any harm upon you.

TL;DR: I pushed a drunk man to the tracks 30 before the train arrived nearly killing him, in Paris.

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