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I (22m) have been stuck in this never ending cycle of a series of lies for the past 4 years. Some background my parents immigrated here for the Soviet Union and have always been super hard on me about grades and athletics. In high school I was a pretty average student finishing with a 3.1 gpa but I was super good with numbers and math in general. But every minute and existence of high school was horrible. I had friends and wasn’t bullied but that learning aspect and homework always was bad. Obviously the pressure to go to college was huge from my parents and wasn’t really a choice thing so I apply to go to a D1 school.
Fast forward I got accepted and graduated high school so I was off to university. Everyone in my family and friends was so happy proud and of me. Everyone except for me. I was sad, scared, and anxious to know I have to spend the next 4 years of my life wasting away in a school to get a piece of paper that didn’t need. Two weeks before I leave I jokingly tell my dad that one if my buddies decided not to go to school and just start working to gauge his reaction. He processed to tell me that my friend is a complete joke and disappointment and that I should not hang out with him anymore. (This wasn't even a real thing I just wanted to imagine how he would react to me if I did this.)
Now school began and just as I imagined it was bad. I hated going to class, I hated doing pointless assignments and my motivation and mental health were never lower. I've always wanted to be a stock broker and eventually a investment banker and I spent all my free time doing research on everything I could know about these two things. As mentioned before my brain works in numbers and I couldn't justify spending all this time, money, and stress on something I hated. I knew I wanted to drop out 2 months into my freshman year. So I started looking for jobs in those fields. I landed a few interviews within a few weeks and got a offer to work a brokerage firm where they could sponsor me to qualify to take my exams to become a stock broker. First time in my life I truly felt proud of myself and felt like this was the first step to working towards my dreams.
I told my parents the news and they were not very happy. They asked if I planned to work there after graduating and I said I wanted to start now. They laughed and said if I took the job before finishing school I would never return back to their lives. I was heart broken that my parents chose their dreams for me over mine own dreams. I return back to school with my head held low and crying in my bed not wanting to lose the little family I had. But knowing I was going to be miserable for 3 and a half more years.
Fast forward to the end of my first semester and I'm at a new all time low. Just going to class, home, gym , sleep and repeat. I couldn't take it anymore and was crying myself to sleep ever night when the manager of the investment firm called me and asked if I wanted to start my sponsorship. I explained my situation telling him as soon as I am done with school if the offer was still there I would love to come work. He laughed and said that a long time and offered me a ultimatum. He offered me a $15,000 signing bonus if I dropped out right now and came to work for him. He said that gives you everything you want to start your journey to your goals. I don't know what went through me and without even a second thought I agreed and the next day I dropped out packed my bags and left campus.
To say I wasn't scared was a understatement, but it was a excited scared, a pumped scared, and I walked in on my first day with a big smile on my face. Everyone is great, charismatic, and outgoing. My type of crowd. I work 70 hour weeks and I never got bored or tired of it. I woke every morning excited for another day. I have never felt like this in my life. My mood was so good my friends were convinced I was on taking mood boosters. I finally told my best friend about what happened and he hit me with something I completely forgot about during this time, my parents....
My parents during this time are still under the impression I'm in school and learning. I started to lie to them from this point on. A few months go by and I become the top sponsored prospect in the firm and get a 100k job offer once I get my brokers license. My parents had no idea.
Fast forward 6 months and I passed my exams and was officially a stock broker. I was so over come with joy but I had to celebrate that alone. I couldn't tell anyone with fear it would reach my parents and my lie would spill out. But I didn't care, I was making more money then people with master degrees while enjoying life. I continued to lie for the next year about this and during summer months told my parents I got a internship so I couldn't come home for "break". I never felt one bit of remorse for this lie. I didn't care how it would affect me down the line.
Fast forward 3 years and I'm still FUCKING LYING. They still think I'm in my last year of school getting ready to graduate with my bachelors when in actuality I'm the youngest junior brokers in firms history making 140k a year to crunch numbers. (shits so fucking easy) Now its February when I write this and I'm supposed to graduate in May of this year and I don't know what to do. My mom is planning a giant graduation party, my family from over seas is flying in to see my graduation, and everyone is calling me telling me how proud they are. I'm stuck now, I'm fucked, everyone is going to know I'm a liar, everyone is going to know the truth. I don't know what to do. I was thinking about going no contact for a year or 2 but I can't kill my mother like that being I am a only child and the light of her world. But am going to kill her anyways when she finds out the truth. I'm stuck guys, I have never been happier in life and everything is going great besides this one thing. Any ideas for what I should do? More than welcome to call me whatever you want but I kind of need advise more the insults but hey its reddit you guys do you. Thanks for hearing my story, I will update you all with what I do once the time comes around.
TL;DR I have been lying to my parents and family about going to university and they are about to all find out.
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