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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by yanking a wet towel out of my one night stand's ass and painting the hotel suite brown in the process

Obligatory this happened last summer. Been meaning to share this story and I finally got over it so enjoy the ride. Also, english is my second language so let's not shit on me.

Last summer I was traveling to Budapest, Hungary. My family went on this crazy tour visiting all of these beautiful places. I decided to join them for a couple of days and choose Budapest (worst mistake ever. Even worst then eating a Babybell including the red wax). I flew in on a Friday. We had a lovely day catching up and exploring the city. After spending the day with the family I decided to go out and meet some people. I decided to get a drink in the hotel bar first before going to a club. I was staying in the Sheraton, which was close to the centre so I could just walk to the nearest club afterwards. I went to the bar to get my drink and I locked eyes with what I felt was a supermodel. She was beautiful, and she knew it. I walked up to her to introduced myself and after that we just hit it off. We sat down at a table next to us, had a couple of bottles and got really comfortable together.

Now, my initial plan was to get smothered drunk and just see after how many rejections I would call it a night and go back to my hotel room. So when Coco (yes I know don't even get me started) asked if I had a room in the hotel I was in surprised. It felt like I got all my future blessings from god all at once. I told her we could go to my room to enjoy the lovely view. We went up to my room (both pretty drunk I must say) and enjoyed the view for what felt like 0.2 seconds before we undressed each other and got to the deed.

Now.... if you just stop reading here, this could have easily been one of my best one night stand experiences I have ever had. But what you'll read further down here will assure you that those blessings from god where in fact from Jabba the Hutt himself.

After about 30 minutes in she told me to get the small towel from the bathroom and make it wet. She told me she had a friend who told her to insert the wet towel in your ass and just continue having sex, because it would "feel nice". Thank you friend for the amazing idea.

So here's what I did, I soaked the towel in water, I rolled it up (like you would before spanking someone) and I made sure to make a knot on one end, just to be sure her anus wouldn't just eat the whole damn thing.

I made Coco spread her legs and we inserted the towel in her ass. After a minute or so the whole thing was inside of her and we just let it be for the time being. We had sex for maybe an hour and a half. Up until this point I was not sure what to do with the towel and just forgot about it.

Right before she was going to climax she yelled "PULL YOUR DICK AND THE TOWEL OUT WHEN I CUM". Because, and I can't stress this enough, her friend said it would "feel nice".

So... she came. I pulled my dick out, and yanked the towel simultaneously. For a split second I felt dopamine rushing through my body before I saw her body transforming into one of those sewer pipes that gets unclogged.

The wet towel made her anus so relaxed that she couldn't hold in the shit. It was all over me, the bed, the walls, the TV, part of the window (there goes the view) and obviously it flew all over my clothes.

I froze like Frozone while my lovely ONS turned into a shit sprinkler without off button. When she was finally empty we looked at each other for a solid minute before we could comprehends what had just happened. Now, a normal guy would probably ask if she was okay. But me, being covered in shit of a girl I just met a couple of hours ago, was not thinking logically. So, instead of asking how she was, I yelled: "WHO THE FUCK IS 'THIS FRIEND'". Turns out it was one of her funny guy friends who heard a story JUST LIKE THIS but forgot to mention the shit part. Thanks a lot friend.

TL;DR: Inserted a wet towel in the ass of my one night stand, yanked it out of her after the sex which made her anus loose enough to paint the hotel room brown.

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