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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU getting caught masturbating by my parents.

So. My parents caught me masturbating.

I’m a female minor so don’t be weird. My family is Catholic and I had recently discovered the power of oral-b electric toothbrushes. I also figured out a method to virtually avoid producing any noise that can be heard by the outside world. This means locking my door, locking my bathroom door, turning on the bathroom fan, padding the bottom of my closet door with clothes (my closet is in my bathroom) and pretending I’m taking a fat shit.

Well I was doing my thing with my laptop in there with me and I failed to hear my parents calling me since I had headphones on. No biggie right? I’ve got TWO whole locked doors. Well they must’ve thought I was dying in there or something cause my mom unlocks the bathroom door and walks in. I open the closet door about to yell the usual about me being in the bathroom, then she sees me. Luckily I at least had my underwear and a shirt on.

She does a little gasp and my dad is behind her. I was hoping they’d just walk off but nah they sat me down on my bed and we had like a 3 hour long conversation about it. First I had to convince them I wasn’t filming myself or anything, they told me it was evil and bad, I got forced to come out as bisexual, they tried to convince me to blindly believe in god, I had to bs stuff about believing, they told me they loved me blah blah blah. Overall not as bad as it COULD have been but yeah. We all cried. They probably think I’m gonna go to hell. My dad looked traumatized.

TL;DR: Got caught despite my impenetrable fortress of masturbation, they thought I was filming (I wasn’t and don’t), got catholic shamed, came out as bi, cried a lot.

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