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TIFU by getting catfished by a child

The title sounds terrible and trust me it is. First of, I'm 30. I've never really posted long story form posts before so I'm sorry if it's hard to read. I live alone and have only a few friends and sometimes just want to meet new people and yes I'm aware this is making things sound even worse.

It all started by downloading an app that connects you to random people to text to but with profile pics. I met a few interesting people but no one who I actually carried on a conversation with until I met Emma (fake name). She was a cute looking 21 year old that had mental health issues just like me and we connected.

After talking for a while she suggested we go to a different app. I said sure I'll give you my number and we can go to WhatsApp but she said that felt too personal and suggested discord which i was fine with. We chatted every single day for a few weeks when she asked for my phone number and we switched to WhatsApp.

My bipolar sent me manic as hell during this time and Emma kept me in a routine. Made me try to sleep when she went to bed around 10pm and woke me up every day at 7am. This was honestly the worst my bipolar has ever treated me and a random girl I met on a dating app kept me in a routine, got me off alcohol, made me promise I'd touch no drugs and gave me a reason to smile every day.

When the mania started fading I got seriously attached. Found out she had a drug problem and promised I wouldn't leave if she tried to get clean. I supported her daily while withdrawals were really hard for her. It felt amazing to meet someone I shared interests with where we could help each other fix our lives. I genuinely felt closer to this human than I had to anyone else in my life. We shared absolutely everything with each other spoke for hours and hours every single day for 6 months. She saved my life during the worst mental health crisis I've ever had.

She asked me to visit her, she lived in a country 500km away from me but she seemed absolutely perfect in my eyes so I agreed. I said next year as I'd have to save for accommodation and flights or train. She said oh no that's fine you can stay with my parents so we set plans for December because we both loved winter. We flirted, shared non sexual pics, video chatted, once was on the phone for nearly 8 hours one day.. Every thing seemed absolutely amazing. She looked 21 so I had no worries there. She was the biggest confidence boost I've ever received, I thought she was really cute. We shared everything about our lives with each other from trauma to the good things. I was genuinely happy for the first time in a long time.

And then last week i received a message, "I need to tell you something" I replied with sure go ahead... she replied with "I'm not 22 in August I'm 15 please don't leave I love you" I was shocked and felt disturbed and absolutely fucking disgusted but also kind of heart broken. I replied with "look you know my age I'm so sorry but i can't do this i wish you all the best but i seriously don't want to go to prison. I wish you all the best. Please keep the promise and stay clean from drugs but I have to go now". Blocked her number, discord and Deleted her contact information.

The worst thing is I feel like I've lost someone really close to me. I have that horrible empty feeling inside and it's awful but this literal fucking child was planning on having a 30 year old stay at her parent's house with her in a few months so I feel seriously creeped out and don't know how I didn't realise. She looked and acted like the age she told me she was. What the fuck man.

TL:DR fell in love with a 21 year old. Talked for 6 months. Found out she's 14 and now I feel disgusted but also kind of heartbroken.

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