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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by showering in raw sewage

I work the honey wagon at the campground I work at. For those of you that don't know what a honey wagon is, it's a big tank that you haul around to suck out the sewer from people's campers. It's not a glamorous job, but it pays. It was my final stop of the day. It was a single mom with an enormous fifth wheel. She told me that her toilet was very clogged. Basically with camper toilets that just means the tank is so full its coming up to the toilet. I backed the wagon up to the tank, got all the hoses on, and everything set up. The outlet was underneath the slide out so I had to get on my ass and slide under there to get to the pipe to connect the sewer hose to. So I'm laying there, I grab the hose, and as I take the cover to the sewer pipe off, gallons gallons of shit water just pours all over me like a river. There was shit in my hair; there was stringy paper and fecal matter hanging out of my beard. I was covered from head to waist in just shit. I turn around to the lady and just go, "that's awesome." She then responds with, "Oh that's because I pulled the lever to open the tank earlier." I emptied her tank for her, mostly on me, and then went about my way. She never even tipped me or anything.

TL;DR: Don't lay right underneath a sewer outlet when opening it, because I got covered in shit water because a lady clearly had no idea what she was doing when she tried to unclog her camper toilet.

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