Skip to main content

TIFU edible tried to steal my soul

TLDR: at the bottom.

So to preface I am a middle aged moderately high use user in a legal state. I smoke the equivalent of 2 or 3 joints a night and every so often me and my wife will will take 50mg of edibles to start it off before we smoke. 50 is the most I've ever taken and do that once a month or so.

Buddy of mine stopped by my work 2 days ago and we talked for a bit, he's leaving and says hey you want one of these edibles they're 100s. I thought that may or may not be fun let me find out, knowing damn well sometimes 50s suck and I think that I'm about to be the first Marijuana over dose of all time in my head. I think great let's double that, I pop it 15 minutes before a leave and drive the 5 minutes home. Talk to the wife and the kids for a bit and everything is great. I go outside with my wife we smoke a bowl and veg on the couch for an hour everything is perfect I mean I'm high as giraffe balls but that was the point right. Kids go to bed we snack a bit, decide to smoke another bowl. Come in watch TV, I take a shower and it is one of the best experiences I've had high in my life, and looking back I realize I tried to pass out multiple times while I was in there. That fact will turn out to much more important than I could have realized. I throw some sleep pants on and return to the living room with my wife. We talk watch TV and decide to go to the bedroom for a little private time. Now from this point my memory is spotty but my wife was there to fill in parts my thc fueled brain could not retain. I remember all my feelings and only small bits other than that, but my wife she remembers all my actions. You add those together and you get a pretty accurate portrayal of what I went through.

This is when the fucking bear reached out and tried to take my soul with his sticky little claws. My reality and everyone else's reality at this point do not exist fully together. I'm told this is the first time I will bounce of the floor. I know as I pull myself up and know instantly that the night is about to go bad so I focus on my wife who always means the world to me but right now is my everything, I try to pull my shit together and talk to her. Then I turn around and find the source of all the current problems I never name this entity that torments me for the next 2 hours and have no memory of a visual. But according to my wife he was a "huge peice of shit" and an " asshole" those everyone are my words. I scream you're not taking any of us and the fight is on. I start throwing punches and then crumple to the floor. My wife rushes to me and helps me up I'm able to focus on her and be fine but anytime I turn my head I'm convinced someone right there is going to take me or my family since every time I look away I'm screaming "You won't take me, my kids or especially her!" The fight rages a few more time with me fighting this thing in my head, but everytime my wife touches me I let her control my actions placing me on the bed or holding my arms behind my back as I cuss and degrade this entity. When ever I'm looking at her I'm able to regain my sanity for a bit. Every time I can see her I'm telling her how much she's means to me.

I start to pull it all together I remember looking at her saying we should have sex, that way I can focus, reboot my brain and I can stop this bullshit. Pulling from all the past bad experiences from half as much thc, thinking I knew exactly what was going on. My friends I did not fully understand the level of fucked up I was because now I am naked and the fight is on. I am gladiator style fighting this thing balls swinging. I allow my wife to control me again and we lay in bed. I would lay there trying to calm my shit only to find myself on the floor over and over. My torso is bruised all over from bouncing off the end table. After this point I knew what was there was there for me, since he was pulling me off the bed and trying to pull me with him through the floor. I remember pulling myself up off the floor trying to escape with the entity pulling heavily on me. Fighting with every bit of my strength screaming that I won't fucking go and it wasn't strong enough to take me.. I'm sure the wife is beyond sick of my shit at this point but she is an amazing person and just tried to calm me and be my rock over and over.

Then standing naked at the end of the bed bleeding from a self inflicted cedar trunk wound on my shin, I start talking. This everyone is the end of my world and I'm not letting it happen I'm gonna argue my way out of it so I can stay and protect my family. My argument? Undisciferable to a human including my wife, but I cried and yelled a lot, the entity by the way is still a huge peice of shit. Then realizing I wasn't dying but the universe that revolved around me was crashing like a computer program I excepted my fate and laid holding my loving wife. I laid there her consoling me, lying to me that it was just the edible. I waited for the end of all existence. I felt my racing heart rate calm and stop I felt her heart stop with mine. I flowed through the cosmos as different feelings in a pitch black out of body experience. This time right here with my wife holding me almost made it worth it. Not really but I did enjoy it. Then I woke up yesterday extremely sore, still kinda high and went work. I came to grips it was just the edible and for the first time in about 2 years did not smoke last night.

What did I learn? Well if you're gonna do something stupid do it with someone who you love and loves you back because I'm a dumbass.

TLDR: Took way to high of a edible dose. Fought what amounts to the grim reaper naked, and floated through the cosmos.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by making a joke that landed horribly

I was talking to someone and thought I was being funny, but the second the words left my mouth I knew I had messed up. It was one of those jokes that sounds fine in your head and then just dies completely in real life. Nobody laughed, the mood got awkward instantly, and I could feel my face getting hot because I knew I had just made everything weird for no reason. What made it worse is that I tried to recover from it instead of just shutting up. So then I started talking more, which only made it more obvious that I was panicking. You know that feeling when you can hear yourself getting worse while it’s happening and you still can’t stop? yeah, that was me. I kept trying to act normal, but the whole thing was already gone. After that I just wanted to disappear and pretend it never happened. I’m still thinking about it way more than I should, which somehow makes it even more embarrassing. I really should have just kept my mouth shut for once. TL;DR: I tried to be funny and the joke...
Post a Comment
Read more