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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU edible tried to steal my soul

TLDR: at the bottom.

So to preface I am a middle aged moderately high use user in a legal state. I smoke the equivalent of 2 or 3 joints a night and every so often me and my wife will will take 50mg of edibles to start it off before we smoke. 50 is the most I've ever taken and do that once a month or so.

Buddy of mine stopped by my work 2 days ago and we talked for a bit, he's leaving and says hey you want one of these edibles they're 100s. I thought that may or may not be fun let me find out, knowing damn well sometimes 50s suck and I think that I'm about to be the first Marijuana over dose of all time in my head. I think great let's double that, I pop it 15 minutes before a leave and drive the 5 minutes home. Talk to the wife and the kids for a bit and everything is great. I go outside with my wife we smoke a bowl and veg on the couch for an hour everything is perfect I mean I'm high as giraffe balls but that was the point right. Kids go to bed we snack a bit, decide to smoke another bowl. Come in watch TV, I take a shower and it is one of the best experiences I've had high in my life, and looking back I realize I tried to pass out multiple times while I was in there. That fact will turn out to much more important than I could have realized. I throw some sleep pants on and return to the living room with my wife. We talk watch TV and decide to go to the bedroom for a little private time. Now from this point my memory is spotty but my wife was there to fill in parts my thc fueled brain could not retain. I remember all my feelings and only small bits other than that, but my wife she remembers all my actions. You add those together and you get a pretty accurate portrayal of what I went through.

This is when the fucking bear reached out and tried to take my soul with his sticky little claws. My reality and everyone else's reality at this point do not exist fully together. I'm told this is the first time I will bounce of the floor. I know as I pull myself up and know instantly that the night is about to go bad so I focus on my wife who always means the world to me but right now is my everything, I try to pull my shit together and talk to her. Then I turn around and find the source of all the current problems I never name this entity that torments me for the next 2 hours and have no memory of a visual. But according to my wife he was a "huge peice of shit" and an " asshole" those everyone are my words. I scream you're not taking any of us and the fight is on. I start throwing punches and then crumple to the floor. My wife rushes to me and helps me up I'm able to focus on her and be fine but anytime I turn my head I'm convinced someone right there is going to take me or my family since every time I look away I'm screaming "You won't take me, my kids or especially her!" The fight rages a few more time with me fighting this thing in my head, but everytime my wife touches me I let her control my actions placing me on the bed or holding my arms behind my back as I cuss and degrade this entity. When ever I'm looking at her I'm able to regain my sanity for a bit. Every time I can see her I'm telling her how much she's means to me.

I start to pull it all together I remember looking at her saying we should have sex, that way I can focus, reboot my brain and I can stop this bullshit. Pulling from all the past bad experiences from half as much thc, thinking I knew exactly what was going on. My friends I did not fully understand the level of fucked up I was because now I am naked and the fight is on. I am gladiator style fighting this thing balls swinging. I allow my wife to control me again and we lay in bed. I would lay there trying to calm my shit only to find myself on the floor over and over. My torso is bruised all over from bouncing off the end table. After this point I knew what was there was there for me, since he was pulling me off the bed and trying to pull me with him through the floor. I remember pulling myself up off the floor trying to escape with the entity pulling heavily on me. Fighting with every bit of my strength screaming that I won't fucking go and it wasn't strong enough to take me.. I'm sure the wife is beyond sick of my shit at this point but she is an amazing person and just tried to calm me and be my rock over and over.

Then standing naked at the end of the bed bleeding from a self inflicted cedar trunk wound on my shin, I start talking. This everyone is the end of my world and I'm not letting it happen I'm gonna argue my way out of it so I can stay and protect my family. My argument? Undisciferable to a human including my wife, but I cried and yelled a lot, the entity by the way is still a huge peice of shit. Then realizing I wasn't dying but the universe that revolved around me was crashing like a computer program I excepted my fate and laid holding my loving wife. I laid there her consoling me, lying to me that it was just the edible. I waited for the end of all existence. I felt my racing heart rate calm and stop I felt her heart stop with mine. I flowed through the cosmos as different feelings in a pitch black out of body experience. This time right here with my wife holding me almost made it worth it. Not really but I did enjoy it. Then I woke up yesterday extremely sore, still kinda high and went work. I came to grips it was just the edible and for the first time in about 2 years did not smoke last night.

What did I learn? Well if you're gonna do something stupid do it with someone who you love and loves you back because I'm a dumbass.

TLDR: Took way to high of a edible dose. Fought what amounts to the grim reaper naked, and floated through the cosmos.

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