TIFU by destroying my chance with my biggest celebrity crush

Well, this actually happened a few weeks ago. I'm not a redditor, but I was just watching Smosh Pit's latest Reddit Stories video on Youtube and became aware of this subreddit. So, I thought this story would be appropriate for here. It's not that eventful for how long I wrote but I still want to share it since it was kind of a big deal for me.

So, I'm not gonna say her name because I don't want this to make any headlines lol. She's a singer, not super famous, but still has a pretty big fanbase. Like, whenever someone asks who my favorite artist is, I tell her name and I have to explain who she is every single time. Yet she does have more than a million subscribers on instagram.

I'm 27yo, and I've been a huge fan of hers for the past 4-5 years. Maybe her biggest fan. Before that I didn't have any celebrity crushes. I remember that everyone had one in my teenage years, however I never really understood how you would get so obsessed over someone you've never met. I understood it with her. I know her every single song, I must've watched every show she's been on, every interview she's given. I love her music, and I love her personality (at least how she presents herself in those interviews). She's beautiful and has the kindest heart.

Anyways, so a few weeks ago I was abroad for business related reasons. After a long day of work in a small office, I wanted to walk to my hotel to get some fresh air. On my way there, I saw a bar, it seemed like a quite place so even though I was very tired, I went in to see what kinds of beers they had. (I like trying different beers whenever I travel.)

I sat down and ordered one, and started mindlessly scrolling on my phone so I wasn't alone with my toughts, as you do when you're sitting at a bar alone. After ordering my second beer, someone said hi. I turned around, and saw her. Like don't get me wrong, I've met women at bars before, but never had a woman come up to me first, so that was new. And it was her of all people. Her. So of course I thought I must've fallen asleep on my desk at work and I was dreaming. I was freaking out, internally. Externally, I menaged to keep my cool, and said hi back.

Since I couldn't believe who's standing in front of me, it was more like a "hi??" I guess. She said she saw me sitting alone, and she was alone as well, so she tought it might be nice to chat while enjoying our drinks. I said "of course, I mean why not, SIT" and rather aggressively pulled up a chair. I was very, very excited and nervous. But it seemed like she still hadn't realized I was a fan.

I told my name and she said hers, but I didn't say I already knew her because I wasn't sure about revealing that. At first I was a little awkward and talked about the weather, how nice the bar is and stuff. Then we've talked for another hour or so. The conversation was going pretty well and thankfully I was much calmer at that point.

Then I told her I was in the city for work, and talked about what I do very briefly (very boring job, I felt like Jim Halpert in the first season of the Office while describing it). She said she was there for work as well, and said she makes music. At that point I thought I had to be honest. I said "I know, I'm a huge fan actually, I love your every song, I have all your merch..." Her expression quickly changed, from happy to disappointed, and she said "oh". That was the moment I realized I fucked up. Thinking about it now, maybe not telling that to her a little earlier was a bigger fuck up.

She said she doesn't think getting close with fans is appropriate. For a sec I was going to say "so we were gonna get close?", but thank goodness I didn't. She briefly explained why she thought it's wrong, and all I could say was "I respect that". And I really do. Even though it hurt, and I don't agree with it 100%, having a certain kind of power over people and choosing not to use that power for ethical reasons is quite respectable imo.

It got a little awkward again and we've only talked for a few more minutes. She said we could take a selfie if I want to, so we did. I offered her my number, and said maybe we could grab a coffee if she ever comes to my country. She accepted it, but probably out of politeness lol. Then I walked her to her car, and I'll probably never gonna see her in person again outside of a concert.

I can't stop thinking about how else that night could go, and I'll probably think that for months to come, if not years. But what can you do, it is what it is.

It's also weird that I went to a country I've never been before, decided to walk even tough I usually don't, walked into a random bar, and met my biggest celebrity crush there. It's like universe aligned everything for me and I menaged to fuck it up lmao.

TL;DR: I saw my celebrity crush in a bar, and she came up to me to meet. Unbelievable. After we've talked for a while, I told her I was actually a big fan of hers. She said she's against getting close with her fans, and left the bar a few minutes after that.