TIFU not treating herpes sooner

I have been dating a woman for a few weeks, mostly just going out to dinner and a small goodnight kiss.

We talk about sex and I mention I have HSV-1, the "cold sore" type of herpes. I'm not here to judge her feelings about it, but she does take the situation very seriously.

I didn't realize that anti viral prep medication could be prescribed for HSV-1, I am just learning about all of this. I, for whatever reason, assumed the anti virals were for a breakout or for HSV-2 prep. So, I scheduled an appointment to talk to my doctor tomorrow about beginning an anti viral treatment for my HSV-1.

Now, this woman that I really like thinks that I am a monster for not having already addressed my herpes.

She's going for an STI test today, I'm hoping she's negative. We didn't even do an open-mouth kiss, so I'm hoping she's negative.

I feel so disgusting. I feel like a monster. I legitimately didn't know better, and I'm currently learning more about my situation. I know, I fucked up because I should have been more educated about a disease I have. I don't have a lot of partners, so this hasn't been an issue in the past. I've never had a cold sore, but I understand that I could still be contagious. I've talked with my few previous partners about my HSV-1 and it never came up that I should be on medication.

I'm not feeling well emotionally and mentally. I'm just trying to give her space while also trying to be supportive. I hope she can forgive me.

In a separate issue, she basically told me that she assumes I am "vanilla" in bed. That hurt my feelings. I'm all fucked up today. There's other stuff going on between us that makes me think that this isn't going to work out, but it's not helping me feel any better right now.

Tl/dr: I should have been better educated about my herpes.