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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by admitting it was my dog’s poo the yellow lab ate.

I (M 49) have a very small dog. She is only 4 lbs, I walk her frequently and ALWAYS pick up the little turds. TIFU by running out of poo bags that I have attached to the leash. My dog did her thing and when I realized I was out of bags, I decided to make a mental note of where it was and walk about 20 yards down the path to a dog waste station that has a roll of plastic bags. As I returned to pick up the poo, a lady about 65 years old, walking a yellow lab and talking on her phone, approached the spot where my dog left her poo. The lady stops right next to that spot, talking on her phone. I was approaching to ask her to move a little so I could pick up the turd and then it happened. Just as I said, “Excuse me….” her dog ate the turd. One gulp. It was gone. She looked annoyed with me and asked “Yes, what do you want?!” Standing there with the poo bag in hand, ready to pick it up, I replied (and here’s where I really f***ed up), “Oh never mind. I was going to pick up my dog’s poop but it looks like your dog took care of that!” She flipped out and started prying her dog’s mouth open, yelling at me and generally making a scene. I was chastised for not picking up the poo and I explained I was returning to get it etc.. I apologized and started to leave. She then said, “WAIT! I need to see your ID! YOU are going to pay for my dog’s vet bill! I’m calling the police!” I told her I’m sure her dog will be fine (every Labrador I’ve ever known eats poop almost daily). I left and walked home. I remained calm but I wasn’t going to hang out with her going crazy. About 15 minutes later, I got a knock at my door. It was the police! I discussed the situation with the officer. Apparently the crazy lady followed me so she knows where I live. (Great!) She actually called 911 about this. The officer said he didn’t see any criminal violations so he was just going to file a brief report and be done with it. He laughed a little with me and maintained his professionalism despite a rather odd 911 call response. Hope I don’t get sued!

TL;DR : a yellow lab ate my dog’s poo. The owner got mad and called the police.

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