Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU by letting my daughter think that our cat had murdered the tooth fairy

Happened on Tuesday but my sister thought it was hilarious when I told her l, so I'm sharing.

So my daughter, who is six, lost her second baby tooth that morning. Fast forward to bathtime and it is getting late and I am camped out on the landing, playing duolingo and listening out for when she is done.

Suddenly there is shrieking.

A great big moth has flown into the bathroom and is doing its best to bash itself into the spotlight in the ceiling.

I go rushing in and my stupid brain decides that I can kill a couple of birds with one stone by both reassuring her and hurrying her into bed because it was a school night and I want some evening to myself.

So I brightly exclaim that it must be the tooth fairy checking so see of she can collect her tooth but, oh no, you are not in bed yet so she may have to come back tomorrow. What a shame.

This has the intended effect and mermaid barbie and her court are in the process being swiftly ousted from the bath and into the tidy box when I hear the ungodly clatter of my cat launching himself upstairs at speed.

You see, my cat has a prey drive iof about 11 and pays his rent in pest control. If it has more than two legs and is smaller than say...a terrier? He will kill it. With extreme predjudice.

The moth, which had been fluttering in and out of the hallway and bathroom decides to batter itself agaisnt the spotlight again and Neo (the killer in question) launches himself across the landing, springs beautifully from the toilet tank and bashes it straight down onto the bath mat.

Fucking chaos ensues.

My daughter screams bloody murder as Neo shoves the moth into his maw. She nearly breaks her neck clambering out of the bath shrieking at Neo to stop killing the fairy.

Neo legs it downstairs and I am left with an inconsolable six year old and a fine, silver smear on the bath mat.

It took a good twenty minutes to calm my overtired and overwrought darling down but she did go to sleep and the tooth fairy did come by morning.

She is still refusing to talk to Neo.

TLDR: I tried to stop my kid from being afraid of moths by saying it was a fairy. Unfortunately my cat ate the moth in front of her.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more