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TIFU dafür dass ich damals bescheuert war?

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TIFU by not knowing I was being genuinely asked out. Twice.

Obligatory mention that this didn't happen today, but I was told to put this on here because it's an entertaining story.

First, some context: in high school, I was asked out by a girl named Ramona. No bullshit, point-blank. However, since she was really pretty, out of my league, and I wasn't really looking for a relationship at the time, I thought it was purely a joke and rejected her. We continued being friends, and I ended up forgetting about the whole thing.

Fast-forward to our freshman year of college: I had a crush on her, but she went really far out of state. Not only that, but I still thought that I genuinely had no chance anyway. As a freshman in THAT kind of college, I partied a ton and got absolutely wasted. My liver was in a prison, and I was its warden. I was a machine that turned alcohol into undignified pain and suffering. I had a habit of demonstrating to everyone that I had a problem by calling them while drunk, and that everyone included Ramona. I would also often message people, but not wanting to embarrass myself I vowed to never read anything I sent in people's DMs while drunk and would just apologize for anything I sent. It was a system - people got their apologies, and I wouldn't have to relive an embarrassment I couldn't even remember.

A few days after Valentine's Day I end up getting plastered at a party and messaged people a ton, including Ramona, so I apologized to her the next morning for the slew of messages. She forgave me, and I thought it was over. A day later, she messaged me saying "you know, if you asked me out sober, I'd probably say yes". I thought this was her way of joking and convincing me to quit drinking, so I messaged back "w/ rizz" as a joke. Later, I join a call that Ramona's on with other mutual friends and she roasts me a little bit about "being cryptic". When I question her about it, she immediately destroying me verbally about how she's asked me out twice and both times I essentially fumbled her when at that point she KNEW that I liked her. I had never been so embarrassed. Apparently, all of our mutual friends knew she had a giant crush on me for years, but never said anything to me because they thought that I just didn't get crushes. How was I supposed to know she was asking me out? I thought we were just really good friends!

I found out later that I was messaging her that I loved her, along with a bunch of other embarrassing lovey-dovey things. Corny and typical, I know, but that's just what ends up happening. This thing is though, I didn't initially know that I did this. I should have read the messages.

Thankfully, she was willing to go out with me after everything. Since then, I only party hard and drink once or twice in a semester, and we've been official for about 11 months.

TL;DR: My close female friend who I had a crush on told me that if I "asked her out sober then she'd say yes", and I responded to that with the phrase "w/ rizz" because I thought she was joking. Later I got bitterly chewed out by her on a call while friends were listening in, but thankfully now we're dating.

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