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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by quoting Sean Kingston

This happened last night. I have been seeing a girl (N) for a twoish months and yesterday she asked me to come to a local bar to meet some of her friends. I’m not necessarily the most social guy but can be when I need to be. Drinks were flowing, jokes were landing, things were going well when a man at a table across the bar had some sort of medical emergency and the woman he was with shouted “Somebody call 9-1-1.” I, in all my infinite wisdom, called back “Shawty fire burning on the dance floor, WoAaHh!” For those of you who don’t know, that’s the opening line to Sean Kingston’s 2009 song “Fire Burning.”

The look on all their faces was a mix of shock and horror. Nobody in the group said anything for what felt like ten minutes before awkwardly chit chatting a little more then slowly starting to excuse themselves. N said she was getting tired and that I didn’t need to walk her home, she’d just text me when she got there. I got a text a half hour later (five minute walk) saying “home, gotta be up early tomorrow so I’m going to bed.”

For the record, I know it was an awful joke. I don’t know why I said it, I was shocked and horrified myself. The guy also seemed fine, walked to the ambulance with the EMTs so hopefully nothing serious was happening.

TLDR: Quoted Sean Kingston’s “Fire Burning” while a man was possibly dying.

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