Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU by asking my ex-wife for my Clone-A-Willys back after our divorce

Helleu. This is a personal story from a absurd and hard break up.

A little background: My ex-wife (F31) and I (M33) recently split up. Things ended terribly... During our marriage, we had this silly little tradition. Every Valentine’s Day, I’d make her a new Clone-A-Willy as a funny (and kind of romantic?) gift. For those unaware, it’s a DIY kit to make, uh, replicas of my dick. It started as a joke, but somehow it became a yearly thing. Most for fun. But also a hint of us having more sexual relationship.

Anyway, to the divorce. I’m moving my stuff out, and suddenly it hits me: she has an entire collection of me. I’m talking about years’ worth of Clone-A-Willys in her possession. And now I’m single, and for reasons I can’t quite explain, I start thinking, “Shouldn’t I have those back?”

Here’s where the FU really starts. I send her a quick message asking if we could meet up to “exchange a few last things.” She agrees, probably thinking I left a pair of socks behind or something. When we meet, I try to bring it up casually, wich was impossible. She was already pissed off at me because I had hidden my collection of sex toys in the hunting room in the basement. I was sweating, stammering about "personal items" and "sentimental value," and she’s looking at me like I’ve lost it. Did I have more toys hidden from her?

Finally, I blurt out, "Can I have the Clone-A-Willys back?" Dead silence. She stares at me, and then, I swear, she looks at me like I’m some kind of science experiment gone wrong. Then she just says, “You’re kidding, right?” (I was not.)

Long story short, she declined. She actually said something along the lines of, “They’re mine now,” and "you already have sex toys worth tens of thousands of dollars" Now I’m sitting here, realizing I’ve fucked it up. She hates me. I have no idea what shes going to do with them now. Why would she like to keep them anyway? Did I give her any revenge ideas?

So yeah, TIFU by asking my ex-wife for the plastic versions of myself. Moral of the story? Maybe don’t give someone yearly of replicas of your anatomy if you’re not prepared to lose them in the divorce.

TL;DR: Divorced my wife, asked for my Clone-A-Willys back, she said no, and now I regret every Valentine’s Day gifts I ever gave her.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more