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TIFU by removing my earring too early

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TIFU by asking my ex-wife for my Clone-A-Willys back after our divorce

Helleu. This is a personal story from a absurd and hard break up.

A little background: My ex-wife (F31) and I (M33) recently split up. Things ended terribly... During our marriage, we had this silly little tradition. Every Valentine’s Day, I’d make her a new Clone-A-Willy as a funny (and kind of romantic?) gift. For those unaware, it’s a DIY kit to make, uh, replicas of my dick. It started as a joke, but somehow it became a yearly thing. Most for fun. But also a hint of us having more sexual relationship.

Anyway, to the divorce. I’m moving my stuff out, and suddenly it hits me: she has an entire collection of me. I’m talking about years’ worth of Clone-A-Willys in her possession. And now I’m single, and for reasons I can’t quite explain, I start thinking, “Shouldn’t I have those back?”

Here’s where the FU really starts. I send her a quick message asking if we could meet up to “exchange a few last things.” She agrees, probably thinking I left a pair of socks behind or something. When we meet, I try to bring it up casually, wich was impossible. She was already pissed off at me because I had hidden my collection of sex toys in the hunting room in the basement. I was sweating, stammering about "personal items" and "sentimental value," and she’s looking at me like I’ve lost it. Did I have more toys hidden from her?

Finally, I blurt out, "Can I have the Clone-A-Willys back?" Dead silence. She stares at me, and then, I swear, she looks at me like I’m some kind of science experiment gone wrong. Then she just says, “You’re kidding, right?” (I was not.)

Long story short, she declined. She actually said something along the lines of, “They’re mine now,” and "you already have sex toys worth tens of thousands of dollars" Now I’m sitting here, realizing I’ve fucked it up. She hates me. I have no idea what shes going to do with them now. Why would she like to keep them anyway? Did I give her any revenge ideas?

So yeah, TIFU by asking my ex-wife for the plastic versions of myself. Moral of the story? Maybe don’t give someone yearly of replicas of your anatomy if you’re not prepared to lose them in the divorce.

TL;DR: Divorced my wife, asked for my Clone-A-Willys back, she said no, and now I regret every Valentine’s Day gifts I ever gave her.

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