Skip to main content

TIFU I help someone steal my bike and pass out in a public bathroom

It was an ordinary Tuesday night. I come home from work and decided to treat myself to 20mg of edibles. My wife and I have put the kids to bed early and we're enjoying dinner with some great conversations. I share how biking to work was so great when I realize that I did not bike home that day. I had caught a ride home from the gym and had forgotten about my bike (locked) at the bike rack outside my gym. The city I live in is notorious for bike thef. I've had two stolen in the past personally. It's only 8pm however so we feel there's a good chance the bike is still there.

Here's our first FU. We live only a 10 mins drive away but I was starting to feel the gummy. Driving seems like a bad idea. We found an item retrieval option on Uber and thought this was perfect! We quickly typed up the instructions describing the bike and LOCK COMBO. We hastily sent it out before we realize that we basically gave all the drivers nearby the code to my fancy road bike. We did have a driver accept but cancel after he read the note. He mentioned that no one would pick up because the package is not packed correctly. Of course.

Here's our second FU. I decided I better rush to the gym before anyone takes my bike. I call an uber for myself and got a Tesla Y accept the ride. Now I have severe motion sickness. Throw in 20mg of weed and the back seat of a Tesla Y driven by fast and furious, I knew I was fucked. I may as well have been in a small raft in the middle of the ocean with a thunderstorm. I make it to the gym without incidents. At the same time I feel that the gummy is peaking. My head is warm and spinny. I can barely stand up straight and I needed shelter quickly. There was no way I was getting back inside an uber. I did somehow manage to make it to my office before I threw up in the bathroom. I can't remember much of it but I think I threw up another 6-7 times and napped as much as I could on the bathroom floor inbetween. As soon as I'm done I would feel sick again. My wife was so worried the whole time. I couldn't even answer the phone. She eventually found a friend several hours later to come find me and got me home where I threw up a few more times.

Oh yeah, the bike was also gone but the lock was left on the bike rack. I see it almost as a message to how stupid I was.

Tl:dr

Took 20mg of gummies then realized I left my bike at the gym. Broadcasted to Uber drivers the combo to my lock. Rushed out and got severely sick. Bike was gone. Puked and slept at the bathroom at my office before a friend saved me.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by sh*tting in the bushes at a high school

So I’m training for a local 10k race in a couple months. That’s about 6.2 miles. Not a long race but not a short one either. I’m making good progress and tinkering with what works for me on longer runs, how I can keep my body moving at an easy, consistent pace for about 70-80 minutes. I’ve been increasing the distance over the past few months, prioritizing getting the distance down before I work on pace. I train early mornings at a local high school track within walking distance of my house. They have public hours almost every morning from 6-8 am. It’s a very nice track with good lighting and ✨no public bathrooms✨. Because I’ve been focused on increasing distance I’m waking up earlier and earlier to get to the track and really hammer it out before I go home and shower for work. In turn, I’ve been drinking a little extra COFFEE most mornings get my body going. Til now this hasn’t been a problem, I don’t leave the house until my body takes care of business. I successfully dropped the ...
Post a Comment
Read more