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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU by tearing a muscle in my hand.

So there I was browsing nsfw reddit pages like any degenerate. And I come across r/self fuck (I'm a dude) and think to myself yea I can do that. Well firstly no I couldn't. In the middle of the attempt my hand started cramping but the horny was at max so on I pursued. It kept cramping but I kept pushing it until I gave up beat my meat and went to lay down for bed. Which is when I noticed it's not a just a cramping and there is a visible lump on top of my hand. So now I'm laying here too poor/embarrassed to go to the hospital but my hand is unable to support any pressure and I can't grab anything either. My day job is non stop heavy lifting and now I gotta come up with an excuse as for why I'm going to be half useless for a few weeks... atleast hand injuries aren't unusual at my job.

TLDR: played with myself so hard I strained a hand muscle and can't use it for awhile.

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