Skip to main content

TIFU by pulling an elastic battle rope too hard and almost blinding myself

So this happened today, and my face still hurts.

I was at the gym, feeling good, ready to get in a solid workout. I decided to switch things up and use those elastic battle ropes—you know, like the normal heavy ropes, but stretchy. I figured they’d give me a killer resistance workout while making me look like a beast. Spoiler: I did not look like a beast.

I started off with some standard waves, but then my dumbass thought, Hey, what happens if I pull harder? So I did. I yanked the rope back with full force, stretching it to what I can only assume was its absolute limit. And then, physics happened.

The rope snapped back at the speed of light and whipped me directly in the face. I swear, I saw my ancestors for a second. The impact landed less than a centimeter from my eye—right on my cheekbone. If it had been just a little higher, I might be writing this with one eye.

I stumbled back, clutching my face, half expecting to see blood. Thankfully, it was just an angry red mark and some swelling. But the best part? There were at least five people who saw the whole thing. A couple of them gasped, one guy actually laughed out loud, and the gym staff just stared at me like, This idiot really almost took himself out with a rubber rope.

Now I’m sitting at home, icing my face, reflecting on my life choices. Moral of the story: Elastic battle ropes fight back.

TL;DR: Pulled an elastic battle rope too hard, got slapped in the face at Mach 10, almost lost an eye, and got publicly humiliated in the gym.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by making a joke that landed horribly

I was talking to someone and thought I was being funny, but the second the words left my mouth I knew I had messed up. It was one of those jokes that sounds fine in your head and then just dies completely in real life. Nobody laughed, the mood got awkward instantly, and I could feel my face getting hot because I knew I had just made everything weird for no reason. What made it worse is that I tried to recover from it instead of just shutting up. So then I started talking more, which only made it more obvious that I was panicking. You know that feeling when you can hear yourself getting worse while it’s happening and you still can’t stop? yeah, that was me. I kept trying to act normal, but the whole thing was already gone. After that I just wanted to disappear and pretend it never happened. I’m still thinking about it way more than I should, which somehow makes it even more embarrassing. I really should have just kept my mouth shut for once. TL;DR: I tried to be funny and the joke...
Post a Comment
Read more