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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU giving my stool sample at a laboratory.

I 29M recently started a new medication which was causing bloating and constipation. I went to a clinic nearby and saw a general practitioner and based on my medical history he recommended that I do a stool(poo) test. I’ve never done it before so had no clue how it worked and was a bit embarrassed, prior to my appointment I had to wait at the GP for about forty minutes because of delays I had parked my car a couple of streets away and had only one hour parking so was in a rush to move it.

My gut issues were also causing brain fog and anxiety and as a result I made a blunder and did not collect the stool sample kit. I was not even aware that I was supposed to do this and didn’t know what a stool sample kit was.

I managed to move my car on time without copping a fine and continued with my day. I made sure that I ate plenty of fruits and vegetables and drank lots of water.

The next morning I took a new 2L tupperware container and filled it with poo closed the lid, put the container in a paper bag and put in an envelope and drove to the laboratory, I went to the desk gave them the paperwork from the doctor and when asked for the sample took out the tupperware and kept it on desk. The attendant a lady in her late forties was shocked and had a look of horror on her face and said you are supposed to collect the sample kit from the lab and bring it back to us she showed me the sample kit and it was container size of my finger with a tiny spoon. I was standing there like an idiot with this tupperware full of poo, the attendant started laughing. I’ve never been more embarrassed in my life! but it gets worse as one of the lab assistants show up which turns out to be a girl from my crossfit class. As the attendant was trying to explain her what happened I stormed out.

I ended up submitting my sample at a location 20 km away from my house at a different branch and haven’t been to crossfit class for a week, I have this feeling that everyone knows and it’s driving me crazy.

TLDR; I was asked to do a stool test, did not collect the stool sample kit and submitted a kilogram of poo in a 2 litre tupperware container.

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