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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by crying at my optometrists.

I am sitting in the optometrist chair, opposite to them. It’s been a year or so and all I want is to get an updated prescription.

Everything is going just fine, they are about to dilate my eyes.

Then the question comes, while their face is a mere foot away and they are looking deep into my eyes.

“Are you lactating?”

Silence for a moment to process that.

“Um, no.”

Silence.

Now I’ve never been asked that in my 21 years of life - and I’m about to collapse dead from the effort it is taking to not laugh, but he is a foot away from my face and still very intently staring into my eyes.

I summoned every shred of energy to keep a straight face, but I could feel my face slipping.

He replies while looking me straight in the eyes, again a FOOT away from my face.

“Good.”

The silence stretched out but inside my soul is now battling every single natural impulse to burst out in laughter. Good? GOOD??

At this point he can see it on my face, and promptly misreads my inner tension.

“I didn’t mean good like- that you’re not lactating. Just- good to know.”

PAINFULLY long empty silence.

I felt myself tearing up from my stifled laughter, but managed to just nod and swallow it down.

Anyway he was very nice the rest of the time and I’m pretty sure I inadvertently made him think he made me cry by saying something insensitive, but I was actually trying not to die in the chair.

The entire car ride home I lost it thinking about the situation, but I feel so bad for the guy!

After asking my mom and aunt both of them said they have never been asked that before getting while their eyes checked and that they would have laughed.

Apparently it can have an impact on your eyes but he never told me that!

TL;DR: I started crying because I was trying not to laugh at my optometrist.

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