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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU by drinking a gallon of cranberry juice

May this come as a warning:

I picked up what I thought was gonna be a refreshing jug of cranberry juice, from my local walmart.

Oh, it hit the spot just right, and on this sweltering, 95° day I could barely get enough.

Everything was going exactly as planned for probably about an hour. I continued my bike trek of probably 5 or 6 miles. And took refuge in some shade and laid down to cool off.

It felt like gas, but i'm much too wise to trust a fart. My rumbly tumbly was making me aware that shit was about to go down.

It was a few minutes before I found a restroom but I did arrive in time.

I sat there and became the ugliest fountain for probably five minutes. At least long enough to google, my questions about cranberry juice ingestion, and confirm my fears.

It's hot, i'm sweating, and I just put all of my hydration in the toilet. I still had another six miles to go home.

I was very fortunate when I stopped at the skate park and someone with a pickup truck was kind enough to run me to 4 miles I had left to get home.

This honestly could have ended way worse. I am sincerely posting this as a warning to anyone who likes cranberry juice as much as I do. Stay safe out there!

TL;DR: Cranberry juice contains sorbital which is fine and dandy in smaller quantities? But when you drink a gallon it will wreck your system.

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