Skip to main content

TIFU by accidentally crushing my boyfriends manhood

I'm on mobile so I apologize if the formatting is weird.

I, 25f have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. I'm a heavy girl, bbw if you will. I'm around 200 pounds, and always had issues with losing weight. Now that I'm pregnant with our child (roughly 6 months), I've gotten a bit of a baby belly going on too. My boyfriend is also a big guy, maybe 300-350 pounds but I never cared because I fell in love with him for who he is. And him being a big guy is great since I run cold and he runs hot.

Anyway, I was at his house a few days ago spending the day with him when I decided I wanted more than just cuddles. You know, I was in the mood, he looked good laying next to me and so I decided to surprise him by climbing onto his lap. What I did not anticipate, was him having morning wood however. Honestly I should have seen it coming because he gets turned on pretty easily whenever I'm laying next to him or sitting on his lap.

So me being me, wanting to wake him up for some sexy time and not being able to see much (it was a little dark in his room, his belly hides his crotch a little and I can't look down that far because, well, baby belly) I decided to throw myself in his lap. I swing my leg over his lap as well as I can, force myself to stand up by placing my hands on his chest, and just drop myself onto his lap. And he woke up gasping and I freaked out. He didn't throw me or anything, just shoved a hand down to his "log" and grabbed my shoulder with his other hand to keep me from falling. What I didn't feel, for whatever reason, was his wood bending against my rear the second I plopped down. However it happened, I'm not 100% sure, but I definitely hurt him and felt so bad that after I apologized profusely for over 30 minutes and kissed his face repeatedly, he ended up caving and I made it up to him (especially his wood). Although I am now banned from sitting in his lap unless he can properly guide me so I don't crush him again. We ended up laughing about it, but I still feel so bad and just had to tell someone. Ladies, if you're pregnant and want to sit in your mans lap, make sure he doesn't have a hard on, or that you won't accidentally crush it like I did.

TLDR: I, a pregnant big girl accidentally sat on my boyfriends morning wood and almost broke it.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more