Skip to main content

TIFU by removing my earring too early

TIFU by accidentally crushing my boyfriends manhood

I'm on mobile so I apologize if the formatting is weird.

I, 25f have been with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. I'm a heavy girl, bbw if you will. I'm around 200 pounds, and always had issues with losing weight. Now that I'm pregnant with our child (roughly 6 months), I've gotten a bit of a baby belly going on too. My boyfriend is also a big guy, maybe 300-350 pounds but I never cared because I fell in love with him for who he is. And him being a big guy is great since I run cold and he runs hot.

Anyway, I was at his house a few days ago spending the day with him when I decided I wanted more than just cuddles. You know, I was in the mood, he looked good laying next to me and so I decided to surprise him by climbing onto his lap. What I did not anticipate, was him having morning wood however. Honestly I should have seen it coming because he gets turned on pretty easily whenever I'm laying next to him or sitting on his lap.

So me being me, wanting to wake him up for some sexy time and not being able to see much (it was a little dark in his room, his belly hides his crotch a little and I can't look down that far because, well, baby belly) I decided to throw myself in his lap. I swing my leg over his lap as well as I can, force myself to stand up by placing my hands on his chest, and just drop myself onto his lap. And he woke up gasping and I freaked out. He didn't throw me or anything, just shoved a hand down to his "log" and grabbed my shoulder with his other hand to keep me from falling. What I didn't feel, for whatever reason, was his wood bending against my rear the second I plopped down. However it happened, I'm not 100% sure, but I definitely hurt him and felt so bad that after I apologized profusely for over 30 minutes and kissed his face repeatedly, he ended up caving and I made it up to him (especially his wood). Although I am now banned from sitting in his lap unless he can properly guide me so I don't crush him again. We ended up laughing about it, but I still feel so bad and just had to tell someone. Ladies, if you're pregnant and want to sit in your mans lap, make sure he doesn't have a hard on, or that you won't accidentally crush it like I did.

TLDR: I, a pregnant big girl accidentally sat on my boyfriends morning wood and almost broke it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by not disabling an option in Windows that seemingly made my PC stutter for the last 3 years

I bought a pretty good PC in 2019 (2300 € of goodness) but, a few months after I installed it, the PC started to have, at random, small freeze for like a second, every 10 to 50 min for seemingly no reason. I did tons of benchmark, pretty much read every posts about "my PC is stuttering/freezing help meee" on the internet, called the After Sale number from where I bought the PC. Removing and putting the GPU back helped for a few weeks, but then back to square one. Checked the state of my disks, the ventirad, everything ! Restarting the PC made the stuttering stop for like 1 or 2 hours that's it. I had GPU-Z and CPUID monitor on all the time to check if anything happened, and weirdly enough, having those monitoring program open made the stuttering way weaker ! Drove me absolutely crazy. Then one or two weeks ago I saw a post on r/buildapc about Fast Startup option in Windows and how it was a good idea to disable it... So I did. Since then, nothing. No stuttering, no f...

TIFU while being spicy with my Gf

I 26M have a gf 22f. We enjoy sex with each other but wanted to spice it up as she wanted to try something new and I was all for it. She had me order cuffs, a blindfold, and a vibrating plug which I thought would be fun to try. I let her know when they arrived and a few days after they arrived she came over and we got ready. She had me out the cuffs on her and blind fold first before I did anything else, followed by getting the plug ready. I put what I thought was a good amount of lube on it as one does. Well sadly when I slowly put the plug in, it immediately went all the way in as off it was just sucked in followed by a loud “AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHGHHHHH” which my dumbass at first thought “Oh she must really like it!” Until i realized it was from pain. I started panicking for a second then realized she was in pain, blind folded, and handcuffed. When I asked if she wanted me to take them off she said no and just sat there for about another 5 minutes. It didn’t completely ruin our spicey t...

TIFU by not getting visual confirmation on the lube he was using

Obligatory not today, but I was talking with my ex (the counterpart in this story) and he said he was surprised I hadn’t written this post yet, and truthfully, he’s right. So I (30 at the time, F) and my boyfriend (29 at the time, M) had been dating for a few months and were honestly having a blast. Maybe too much fun. A lot of late nights out. Both very spontaneous people with a lot of social and sexual energy when together, the latter being an important component of this story. One night we had decided to go to one of our neighborhood spots and have a few drinks before heading back to his place. In our city there’s this local artist that creates these awesome vending machines full of unique shit, some of it’s as simple as a pair of earrings or a bag of tiny ducks, but the fun ones are these mystery packages. I always liked choosing the spirit animal ones cause those contain a tiny toy animal and a card with some relatively snarky description of why your lazy like a shark or whateve...