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TIFU by going out of my way to prove Android isn’t as safe as my coworker thought

So TIFU, I decided to let my inner dumbass take the wheel.

I’m in my 30s, work in penetration testing at a big tech company (no, not that kind of penetration, get your head out of the gutter). One of my coworkers, Donny (52M), is the kind of guy who argues just to argue. His favorite topic? How Android is superior to iPhone. Normally I let him rant and nod along, but this morning I was cranky and thought, “Screw it, let’s actually prove him wrong.”

Bad idea.

I used one of our tools that we normally reserve for controlled testing (and absolutely not for random pranks on coworkers) and slipped something onto his phone. The setup was simple: every 30 minutes, his phone would automatically text his wife, “Mommy, I shit my pants. Can you come pick me up from work?”

He had no clue this was happening in the background. About two hours later, his wife finally called. Donny usually takes calls on a headset, but of course not this time. She was loud enough for half the office to hear: “WTF is wrong with you? Don’t you know I’m at work? Go home and change your pants!”

I nearly choked trying not to laugh. Donny glared at me like he knew I had something to do with it, but didn’t have proof. At least, not until I made the real mistake.

I texted my wife about how hilarious the prank was. My wife, bless her heart, is best friends with Donny’s wife. She thought it was so funny that she texted her immediately.

So yeah. Donny found out in record time.

And now I’ve got a 9am meeting with HR, where I fully expect to either be fired or at least added to some corporate “do not prank” list.

TL;DR:

Pranked my coworker by making his Android phone send his wife texts saying he pooped his pants. He found out because my wife told his wife it was hilarious. Now I have a 9am HR meeting and might get fired.

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