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TIFU dafür dass ich damals bescheuert war?

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TIFU: I made an offensive joke and now might lose a friend and roommate over it

Hi r/tifu

I am a white man rooming with a black man in college. This is our second semester together, and things have been very stable up to this point. We agree on a lot of things politically and ideologically, but I came from a different upbringing and lived a very sheltered and ignorant life, and didn't do a lot to break out of my shell and understand and explore different people's histories and cultures outside of what I was taught in school.

A few nights ago, I was at a friend's house, and one of my roommate's friends was there. She is also a POC, and has been over to our apartment a few times and we've gotten along really well. We got partnered together to play a round of Quiplash, and I was the one who was mostly suggesting ideas for prompts to enter.

I refuse to repeat what I said, but I made one of the biggest atrocities committed in the early years of the US a joke response to a prompt we were given.

I showed it to her, and she was not amused and became uninterested for the rest of the game.

I immediately realized my mistake and apologized, but despite her saying it was fine, things just felt off for the rest of the night. I was thinking about talking to her about it privately, but she left before me and we haven't spoken since.

I went home and started talking to my roommate, as it was late and I didn't know who else to go to. I told him everything, only to realize he was on the phone with another friend and semi-frequent house guest.

I was told off by his friend for my ignorance, and my roommate expressed his disappointment in my actions as well

I went to sleep afterwards and decided to commit myself to self-improvement to not let myself fall into that pitfall again.

The next day, I spoke with my roommate and told him that I was committed to doing better and that I wouldn't make that mistake again. He seemed happy to hear that, but since then, everything feels off, and I'm worried that I may have really messed things up, and he may want to move out.

I deeply value him as a friend and don't want this mistake to ruin our relationship.

I know I can't take it back, and I know what I need to do to improve, but is there any way I can still fix things with him and his friends?

I hope nothing has come across as ignorant or rude. Thanks for reading.

TLDR: I made an awful joke about a tragic event in black history, and I'm worried I may have just ruined my relationship with my black roommate. What do I do?

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